We suppress our behaviors from the real deal. (Well, when it concerns my personal cases, which explains the smile I fashion when I'm out in public.) The greatest mystery is thy self and slowly, I'm following a manual to define me and what lies ahead. We all came into this world without instruction and we choose what path to follow and we struggle for meaning out of our lives. We all know God gave us blessings, and it's only up to us to be happy. I gave up all dogmatic conventions because I believe that if I were to really want to define myself without the repress of other peoples beliefs I can find honesty in myself. The views of other people that tell me who I am or can be, can alter greatly of how I shape my paths. I feel pretty articulate with what I've become and though it's not been to standard, I've found willingness to pay attention to one thing: myself. Definitely not so much in a selfish manner, but with so much analysis, you can find happiness, and its up to you to make it happen. I want to be able to have a right understanding of the fact of impermanence. The continuity of my future grows out of the past. Things may change drastically throughout time but slowly, I've been able to sustain my attention to what's ahead and only ahead. I love the moments where I can clear my mind, analyze the world around me and see the things I have encountered in a day philosophically, mentally and physically. However, lately that's exactly what I've been lacking. There is really no such thing as a fixated person and that is why I believe we are the cause of our own mysteries by how we think of the world and ourselves. I learn something about myself every single day and that is probably what contents me at the end of the day. Though I may be struggling with my independency and relationships with my family, friends and other -ships, I want to let go of all the restraints of what scare me from fixing things and put a halt to all pathological attachments, such as, problems and people. I think being a certain way by following the rightful path can help anybody find themselves on a much deeper level; not so much leaving bad habits, but the bad habitual self concepts that lead to a dishonest life. Too much effort can get into the way of achievement (cause "when you try hard, that's when you die hard" right J?) and I learned that the more you just let things go the way they're supposed to go, you'll find maturity and harmony in, out, and around yourself. Suffering is only in the mind and by all cause of my inner drama I have right now, I can't afford to fret because I've always been telling myself which then leads to my further belief that everything will be okay. The desire to change the dynamics of your desire will become a habitual reaction, which is good and will leave you with a more qualified feeling. We only suffer because we told ourselves we did; we grow from it and it's up to us to let it go and keep living our everydays. Needless to say, life is full of suffering, but if you learn how to stop the craving and grasping of all negativity in your own mind's pathological end, you'll learn to bypass all conflict and find the mere intentions of why God brought us into this earth...
Note to self: Find the courage for your own convictions, damnit!
- D. Roldan
1 comment:
This reminds me of what we talked about from that distraught morning.....
Only worry about what you can control aside from what you're able to reach, right?
Good entry, Roldan.
*J tips hat .....and curtsey. (lol, jk... bows*)
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