Manhood Pre-requisites

Q: What pre-requisites do we have for manhood in a pro-hip hop but still-capitalist world?
i.e. What do we still think makes a man 'grown'?

First and foremost, check out the film below:
Barack & Curtis: Manhood, Power, & Respect


As women there are traits that we (been taught and encouraged to) think make a Man, or at least make men appear more mature and responsible to us. But how dependable are these supposed 'must haves'?
The ones I see as central in hip hop and many Brown & Black communities are...

"Thuggish" Demeanor
Somehow a man ain't a man to us if he ain't rough and rugged to some degree. I know we street up in here, but we need to check how we measure this. I used to say that I needed a man who was all chin up in the air and hard, cause I wanted a man who wouldn't be phased by my strength or "intellect". The way I understood this was that I needed someone who ran as fast as me. I struggled with this - I questioned gender, monogamy, heteronormative life, but still as a city-bred, assertive girl I wanted an in-your-face boy to match..... Yet, as self-critical as I tried to be, I also said 'Hey I like who I like, it is what it is.'

Well with age I've realized that there are more than a 100 ways for a man to express his masculinity. It doesn't have to look/sound one way. A man ain't gotta move just like you to compliment you. Nor does he have to be as loud (or quiet) as you to be able to 'handle you' or 'understand you.' In addition, being loud or grilling everybody does not make you a man.

A "9-5" job
There's still a general assumption that a man ain't "type wifey" (aka type partner) unless he has a super stable income. In our society we understand this to be a 9-5 salary with benefits gig. This isn't without logic cause we all know many talented, creative dudes who still ain't got their money and planning on lock... and it's about to be their 34th birthday. However we need to look at work ethic, not just the kind of work. Granted if he's a d-boy forget how hard he works, you need to leave him alone! But hopefully you get what I mean. A person who knows how to hustle, has drive, and wants to build up multiple skills is probably going to end up more mentally and financially stable than a dude who consistently 'plays it safe' and is lucky enough to benefit from the informational technology boom cause he majored in computer science. (No offense to my computer nerds in tha house. I got love, y'all are creative too! It's just an example.)

I'd also like to add that 'financial stability' needs to be replaced with 'financial sustainability.' Life should be about building with a group, not about individuals hording riches for their own comfort. Yenno? What this means for young single folks is that you are playing ya self if you think you're gonna find some rich person to settle you down (*ahem gold diggas)... Real financial stability and sustainability is something people create together over time!

Access to money and ownership of property
We still have the idea that a man is more grown when he has access to money (through career, future inheritance, etc.) or when he owns something solid - a house, land, or a debt-free business. It is true that a healthy business can be a sign of responsibility, however these things do not guarantee that he is stable. I know plenty of women and men who got these things, but lack the overall mindstate to be truly "type wifey".

That's all for now. If you want, holler back and drop some knowledge?