Here's my name & num...

If I ain't the one, lose it. If I am, use it.

Ever since the whole boyfriend-girlfriend notion came into being in my being, I've always been the type to saught out for something long-term, something worth keeping. Never been the type to look either, I just let nature run its course. But also never been the type to date multiple guys at the same time to 'test' out my options. You can consider me as an old-fashioned lover, persay.

With you, it wasn't any different but something was new. For once, without any force whatsoever, I was using my heart rather than my head. You knew that perfectly well without me even having to inform you. I don't need to rehash the bittersweet details of how we started and all the in-betweens. That's history and herstory now. All I know now is... despite my heart having to ache after I needed to end our cycle of unfortunate events, my head is taking initiative for my whole persona to recuperate. It's my head's way of making a comeback after being neglected at the most crucial time. It's saying in flashing, neon lights...

Love is not the best thing for us now..
And what's the next best thing? A friendship to continue how we started out.

It's unfortunate cause, needless to say, I was so ready for you but the official part was key. But I guess, your life wasn't ready to coincide with mine. All I'm taking for comfort now was our closure. Not once did I lie to you and that included me promising you that our situation will differ from your past ones. I told you we'd close this up nicely and peacefully and that I will not be one of those regretful and vengeful exes. If that was so, it'd be too much for me to handle. From one extreme to almost being your lover then the other extreme of being your enemy? Never.

My first and probably my last time blogging about this. I have an exceeding amount of thoughts to convey but you know me.. I'd rather share them with you straight up rather than blogging on my own. With all that said and with all the things we said before you left for camping... WE GOOD, I GOOD and as much as you never like to think so... YOU GOOD. If you weren't, you wouldn't have the courage to actually try and get over this but just remain stuck until God knows when. I commended you then and I still commend you now until all the days we stay friends. More importantly, BE GOOD. We've taught each other a lot in the span of over a year but now it's time for us to teach each other on our own, yenno. But never, ever be afraid to let someone else teach you what they've got to offer. Just let it. We deserve it.

Best of luck in Toronto and to wherever you go emotionally, physically and psychologically. Keep in touch or I will have to resort in that anthrax threat in the form on myself shipped in a Balikbayan box (hahaha).

With the trust of a naked infant cause we know the instant life is hell.
Yours Truly,
Amelie.