"Special girl, real good girl, biggest thing in your itty bitty world"
The crappy beginning of my week made a complete 180 to the end. I don't know whether the hostility contributed to that or it was just finding that closure within myself. I expected this because sure, a change in character is pivotal (to an extent), but too much force out of its own nature will inevitably fail. (Duh) It was never my intention to change you, cause we do get along; but just in the context of good friends. And that you are, still. It was my fault for being blinded by being "rescued, chased, made up to" to actually realize that those efforts were merely for a prescribed cause, not for a natural sequence of events. I apologize for being too much, expecting too much & needing too much from you. We're just in two different worlds at the moment & it wasn't that time for those worlds to clash to produce an "ideal". For ya'll that counseled me that "he'll never get better than you" or that I will be "aight" - thanks for the bright side, but as much as I was down for those few days I already knew as much optimism as I put in to this, I had to produce the equal amount for the end effect. So that's exactly what I've been up to lately. (This song, this song, and this song helped too) This isn't a front either. This is a genuine self-peace. (Being comforted by a mass and my fam's presence on Saturday paved this way cause it's Blood & Faith when all else fails.)
So fellas? As high as my expectations are for you to break down these walls which, I know, is obviously a threat to all of you to grasp, manage and keep consistent, I'm gonna throw it all away just to stress one thing!
My value in simple things. So for future reference, I'm gonna let ya'll decipher what that means so we can both revel in the outcome.
Take notes:
An edit of my type-Love?
a- Love Jones will stay when your Love zones the way.
(getting a surprise visit at work like that today is nice too, sigh.)
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