D Knowbody

2009-06-27T18:33:00.001-07:00

OUT OF SERVICE, FOREVER.

Everyday I'm on my grind, but my mind's on you

2009-06-26T00:36:00.000-07:00

Lemme bring it baaackkkk

Every G, need a down ass chick, to click? That's sick.

Reminder to my mainsqueeze:
Is you crazy? You my King, for real. But sometimes relationships get ill.
But then again, that's just Drama, Love, 'Lationships babyface!

Feels So Right That It Can't Be Wrong!

2009-06-17T12:09:00.000-07:00

ME AND THIS JAWN, WE GOT IT GOIN' ON.

"I said I must have other females crossed
Cause if you ain't the one then, baby, I'm lost
Picked you up & cut the other girls off
Now it's me and you against the world at any cost"

Holla at the cute Murs video! A plus that this was the first music my ears listened to this morning. Happy Wednesday ya'll.

Classick Love Jam

2009-06-16T00:36:00.000-07:00

"It's important we communicate, intentions to be forever but never cannot wait. Never's becoming prominent, all we do is arguing/ arguiably retarded cause after sex we start again/ life's a meal, a good girl is the condiment/ I compliment you with your conversation cause any girl could look good if she concentratin'/ A personality is somethin' that you can't make up/ sense of humour is a `tude that you can't change up/ look, I ain't gotta tell ya, y'know what I'm thinkin........... Your soul got me, I'm open for life/ fo'eva my wife, stay focused/ lemme show you The Light." -Wale's new version
(And of course, Common's original that started it all...)
"Signed sealed delivered for us to grow together/ Love has no limit, let's spend it slow forever/ I know your heart is weathered by what studs did to you/ I ain't gon' assault em cause I probably did it too/ Because of you, feelings I handle with care/ Some niggas recognize the light but they can't handle the glare/ If a relationship is effort I will match your work/ I wanna be the one to make you happiest, it hurts you the most/ Few understand the union of woman and man/ And sex and a tingle is where they assume that it land/ If heaven had a height, you would be that tall/ Let's stick to understandin and we won't fall/ For better or worse times, I hope to me you call/ At times when I'm lost I try to find you/ You know to give me space when it's time to/ My heart's dictionary defines you, it's love and happiness/ I know the sex ain't gon' keep you, but as my equal, it's how I must treat you/ As my reflection in light I'ma lead you/ And whatever's right, I'ma feed you."

Never has this song related to me so much before. Thank you Hip-Hop for such inspiration in a love life.

Living Lavish

2009-06-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

I got big thangs poppin'!

Knowledge is Boss!

2009-06-11T12:12:00.000-07:00

(is my main quota in life)

A dictionary is knowledge, it will tell you what something is.

A thesaurus is potential, it will tell you what something can be.

And add in the book of street smarts there too and you got yourself a knowbody!

Perez Says

2009-06-11T12:02:00.000-07:00

The only time I ever check out celebrity gossip on Perez, I get informed about an upcoming Yeezy & Gaga concert. Neither are opening for one another but both will be on stage, at the same time, performing & collabing - menage a deux! Cool eh? What an interesting pair. Interesting enough for me to want to experience it too!

I'll be on the lookout for concert dates, mos'def.

I found it

2009-06-10T01:29:00.000-07:00

"I need someone who can keep up with me. I want someone aggressive, who pushes me to my breaking point where I just wanna scream. Someone who will tell me that I’m not always right, and that sometimes I have to apologize for what I did wrong. I need someone who’s gonna set me straight because no one has ever cared enough about me to try."

Your Favourite "CD"

2009-06-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

Anthems, anthems, anthems!

Cause we got hood love/ I be cussin, I be screamin/ like it's over, them I'm lovin/ then I'm feenin just to hold ya/ and that's how we do/ you know that hood love is the good love, it's me and you. I get a feeling like it could be the worst/ cause I've given you my best and I don't mind it...that's fine/ when you love somebody hard then you'll love that way for life!

Everyday he reminds me: "baby you're the boss's girl".

Baby you, do shine just like I do, just like you're supposed to/ Everyone knows you're the boss's girl/ My diamond, envy of all your friends/ These moves that we're making, got us on top of the world. Baby, you're the boss's girl.

"Don't Stop Now, Straight to the Top Now!"

2009-06-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

AKA GROUSE GRIND, NORTH VANCOUVER, BC CANADA.
Aka "Mother Nature's Stairmaster"
Aka 30° slope , starting at the Valley Station of Grouse Mountain & finishes at the Peak’s plateau.
Aka 2.9 kilometres (1.8 miles) in length!
Aka 853 metres (2,800 feet) in elevation gain with 2,830 in total of stairs.
Aka "on average it takes up to an hour and a half to complete the hike. For novice hikers, up to two hours is recommended."

Status: COMPLETED. June 5, 2009 at 1230 hrs.
With Gayle, Ben & my boyfriend, Chris. The success of reaching the mountain peak did justice to the pain & aches we endured during the hike. I don't know if it's just me, but I'm totally down to do it again after I'm much more fit!

Before pictures: on the road with the help of my trusty map & = preparing ourselves for death!

Our pre-game faces to show that we're ready to die.

Fixing my "fanny pack" water bottle (Thanks Chris for bringing me one)

TADA! I'm all set.

...aka Trail of Death.

During pictures: water breaks, burning legs, rocks pissing us off & the never-ending stairs to "heaven"

Chris says after 5 mins of starting: "K, water break!"

Even while hiking, the paparazzi is out to get me?

45 mins later, finally at the half mark! It was a mini celebration. ....for our legs & lungs!

After pictures: finally at the peak feelin' like the Kings & Queens of the world

Being tourists with obligatory photos with the scenery, duh.

"..... When you touched my hand, the sun got brighter then" (8)

The picture that perfectly summarizes Chris & I's relationship.

I found it too corny to look at him straight in the eye so the eagle had to suffice.

Self-explanitory. VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED.

The gondola back down to Earth, weeeeee!!

Vancouver, your beauty never ceases to amaze me.

6 platters of Greek food between 4 people = savages.

End result? 4 tired individuals praying for their legs not to be excruciatingly sore during the next day after-math. We all had one thing on our minds when getting home: NAP TIME!

WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT IN THE BEGINNING OF SUMMER IN THE LBC!

...Cause we sittin' on top of the world.

May 30, 2009

2009-05-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

Happy 1 Month. "Thas wassup."

May 24/09 - after work, after 8pm when he picked me up
D - "K let's go & hurry so we don't miss the final quarter of your Cavs game"
C - "Umm.. I kinda had something else planned. Where's the airport?"
D - "Yo, that's not funny!"
C - "Just trust me."
*as we're driving past the airport terminals... "Hey, just it back & relax."
C - "Yknow how you always give me sh*t about me going to the beach when you're working?
Well this is better than English Bay or Kits. It's peaceful. No noise/people, no buildings, nothing commercialized.
Just you, me, the water & the view, baby."

15 mins later. Destination? IONA BEACH (our hidden beach in Richmond aka "I own a beach" )

I can't go a day without my Sunshine..

Be Right Back

2009-05-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

Under construction (cause I have layout changing A.D.D.)
Under contemplation (cause I need some motivation to write blogs)
Under the sun (cause I'm waaay to busy out & about to post entries)

Catch me on the daily here cause I'm living at the speed of life with that Summertime high!

It don't take a whole day to recognize Sunshine!

2009-05-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

I'm back & here to update you on the sunshines & the sunshiniest days of my life as of late: (click black links for pictures)
1. Becoming a God-mother to a Confirmation candidate. It's an honour to be chosen as a spiritual mentor to a youngin' (although my choices usually stray from being an ideal one).

2. Round 2, game 1 of the Canucks vs. Blackhawks as a surprise from my boyfriend. My first hockey game ever & I walk outta that experience with a win. I know it doesn't count anymore since I practically heard my Vancouver city cry when they got eliminated from the play off =/ However, that didn't apply to my state of mind & emotions after the hockey game! Why? "When can I make this official?" "Up to you baby" "What if I say I want to make it official right now?" "Then it's official... I got myself a boyfriend now." "And I couldn't be any happier to have you as my girlfriend"

3. The initial birthday celebration that sparked the new chilling crew which consisted of me coming from work & meeting up with Chrifer, Alex H & Bryan. A 40 of Silent Sam vodka shared between us 4 equaled roaming around the streets of Robson before 8pm before we munched the f*ck out at Shabusen. With the addition of smuggling in my mickey from Angelo & disguised it as "tea" haha.

4.
SOC = "Standing OH Crew" with straight chillin' 7 days a week! Our group of illdividuals have been busyin' with garage dance sesh's, beach f*ckery, artificial log bonfires, roasting marshmallows (the literal & figurative sense since my nickname is marshmellow), playing bball in the dark, playing volleyball with a GAP ball, Queen E Park antics any time during the week & etc. Literally where the wind blows us! Sometimes, we also chill to substitute for nights at the club in consideration of our youngin's Chrifer & Bryan. Whatever we end up doin, we're defs on the Summer High tip. These group of down ass people have kept me from pulling my hair out when fam shit hits the fan. Can't ask for anything more!

5. My second home, my second family, the older sister I never had; I am forever grateful. You don't recognize what you lack until it's presented to you in a manner more comforting. Ya'll have provided the light & belief that I still am blessed no matter the most heartbreaking tribulations. And to the home that I never cease to get disappointment from.. I still hope to this day for some sort improvement. I don't know how many times I have to re-iterate the things I do, sacrifice and prove to all of you just to keep myself out of your troubled state of mind. But it seems like the more I try to keep your positive outlook towards me, the higher your standards and expectations build up then topple. Honestly, I have not had a bad childhood nor have I run out of morals and values as a young adult to keep getting pushed over by your limitations. I work full-time, pay for my own bills & needs, manage to get higher grades in school all the while trying to balance a healthy family & spiritual life. Am I not entitled to let off some steam in the form of a social life amidst all that pressure? Sigh. A single, vulnerable but self-sufficient lady can only offer so much so, what more do you need from me? My patience has run out & I need time for it to formulate to the level where it's most comfortable so, all I need is time away.

6. I've been dreaming, wanting, needing a bigger memory ipod & car for how long now? My 120 GB new gen ipod video from the boyfriend & his newly purchased car has solved all of that! I am responsible in charging/ putting in songs/ changing the songs in the car/ filling up the gas every once in awhile to keep these privileges fair. Yay!

7. I'm stoked for the PHRESHEST MAY LONG WEEKEND PARTY tomorrow night at Fabric! If you wanna come celebrate it with me and the SOPHRESH fam then gimme a shout for $15 tickets. They're going fast so get at me quick!

8. Thanks to my homegirl for purchasing E-tickets with her credit card.. guess who's hitting up ROCK THE BELLS '09 in my Vancouver city?! If you guessed Denise is, yeeyee you're right! F*ck, I'm so stoked to be mesmerized by the emcees, the jams & the atmosphere. August 1st baby!

9. Last but not least........ Chris Espinosa, stand up.
We've only been officially together for 2+ weeks but these day-to-day times I spend time with you have been at its finest. From taking me places I've never been; to seeing me in person to offer some advice from your own family experience; to sleeping beside me on the same bed for practically a week plus & still falling asleep on the phone despite spending the whole day together; to seeing me from my happiest to saddest, from the most dressed up to the scrubbiest; to cruising around jammin out to songs in your car; to finding car parts; to walking around to fulfill our hungered states; to poking fun at each other with mockery, to spending countless hours just talking to each other face to face in a restaurant/fast food joint, reminiscing on how we started, where we hope to take this relationship and shedding background information/ experiences/ stories.... I ain't frontin' when I say YOU THE BEST I EVA HAD. I know that's become cliche and too early to state but I am For Real like Amel Larrieux. With all the f*cked up sh*t I've gone through with boys & the disappointing outcomes from my high hopes, I've got a Man that this independent lady can finally be in-dependent on. "I'm not gonna promise I'm not going to hurt you" is the most comforting thought because I, too wanna make you the happiest & I wanna be the one that hurts you the most. Truth realness right there. You keep getting more & more impressive daily & that's not only through your words; Your gestures, your real mannerisms, the aspirations & thoughts you convey, the way you know how to conversate with me minus the physical, and the realness you portray keeps me on my toes. I definitely got a rude boy that's good to me, with street credibility + some mind speak at mind's peak! It's surprising how you & I can't get enough of each other's presence cause if it were any other boy, I'd be suffocated by now. Thank you for the past weeks of being your girl & the past month plus for our initial ish that nobody else knows but us. Through our already present mutuality, yo nigga? You got me.

How do you get on my Sunshine list?
Touch me with a heart of gold.. from the lows, to the highs, to the foes we shine. Just continue to be my sunshine!

Blogging Hiatus!

2009-05-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

Whenever I find the opportunity to blog, I end up doing something else. And that's something well worthwhile rather than spending time on my Mac. My week of fun and adventures is just at its finest & I don't want it to slow down. I'll be back, wait for me!

PS. If you want to catch me doing the daily jazz, click here to check out my tweets! But follow me first :)

Magic of Hip-Hop

2009-04-29T13:11:00.000-07:00

"You messin' with this Joker but you need a King 'cause, he uh Club anybody who tryin' to Jack his Queen. I'mma call a Spade, a Spade from the start. He gave you Diamonds, should've gave you his Heart."
A catchy song with a respectable underlying meaning. No Chris Brown-ing aight?! It is never justifiable, and excusable for a man to use his force upon any woman, by any means, and under any circumstances. 100% domestic violence intolerance! ...and trust in Hip-Hop to bring you that message.

Speaking of magic, I can't wait for this kind of magic to captivate my ears... Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

And if you a lady out there, lemme hear ya holla with pride. This mixtape's for us! Get it here!

Randomonium

2009-04-24T13:45:00.000-07:00

1 - My number one pet peeve!
I mean, how hard is it to distinguish these words from one another to make a coherent sentence? And don't forget your THEN & THAN. Please and thank you.

2 - Twitter tweets > Facebook statuses.
Plus, this image makes it funny HAHAHA.

Now, go on & make your own Twitter account then follow me! http://twitter.com/diamondenise

3 - I got the braid craze!
I call dibs on this bangs-style once I find success on doing it on my hair.

Reminds me of the cornrowing days in elementary. Maybe we should bring it back? NOT. Haha.

3 - Damn baby, its that time of night again......
Pop that champagne, give you a backrub & let's get down like Romeo and Juliet, hot sex on the platter just to make ya sweat. Hahaha I kid, I kid. Regardless, ya can't forget the baby-makin' jams!

Get at this bedroom mix here (Right click then Save target as)

King Toast Queen

2009-04-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

Listening to that song gives me the shivers because I swear I can hear you serenading it to me. (Just like that time you sang JL's "Ordinary People" to me) Did you inspire Anthony Hamilton to write that song in dedication to me or something? Because sigh.. I swear it feels like it especially with all the things you've shown me for the past month.

In progression, after relating to Nicole Wray's "I'm Looking" song just a couple of weeks ago, you've turned that all around. Out of all of the typicals who asked me for my name then started to inbox me, you were the only one who didn't try to holler by asking for my msn or number just to get your mac on. Rather, you proved that this notion: "why do cats spit game that is senseless, when they can sit back drop facts and gain a princess" - is true. Not only were you a random "fish" in the crowd, but also one who shattered all my negative pre-judgements even if you weren't aware that those judgements about you existed. Even with the presence of your own pressumptions of the "challenge" that I am resonating from outer influences, that wasn't/ain't no thang to you cause you were just doing you, but all the while respecting me. Honestly speaking, "out of all the guys that approach me/ walking up to me like they know me/ you were the one that stood aside/ waited a while and took your time/ you dont know how impressing/ your curiosity was to me/ you looked in my eyes and saw that/ I wanted more than just a man/ I needed a friend/ someone I could talk to/ someone who really listens/ when you touched my hand/ The sun got brighter then/ Trusting you I close my eyes." You and I both know the quirky interactions that went down when we first met and started talking but like you keep repeating, who would've thought? Even in the "friendzone" you senselessly conveyed all the lackings I craved for in a lasting and serious significant other, which eventually made its impact on my subconscious. I've never described a guy as "refreshing" concerning their role in my life before but that description definitely suits you. In simple terms for your simple character, gestures and nature you proved that Chilvary is NOT dead. You basically redeemed your whole male species in my eyes without the slightest intention to. Every freakin' day I touch base with you or end my day off with our chill interaction you never cease to impress me. So, after establishing about where we're at, what our goals are for this, for us..... hey my Mr. Gentleman, Bahamadia's "I Confess" is dedicated to you :) (check out the entry following this)

I Confess

2009-04-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

Word life boo, I checked you flexin wit'cha crew
Roughneck mannerism, fly disposition,
My mission is gettin into you like a religion,
My woman's intuition tells me cupid's arrow's hittin,
You're the prince with the glass slipper that my foot could fit in,
This feelin that I have is never endin, I'm sendin, my love
With the bow up on the top, cause, for you I got the hots so
Please accept these feelings I posess, like a damsel in distress
In pursuit of happiness..... I confess.
When you swing my way I, get a sudden rush,
That entices me not to keep it on the hush-hush,
Boy times girl times trust equals us,
Bust the equation, baby and just
Let nature do the rest.. I confess
"I Wanna Be Down" like Brandy with you handy for the duration,
Engage in electric relaxation, build a conversation, probe ya intellect,
Put ya manhood to the test, but not just ya physical,
Ya individual is what I'm after, ya heart I wanna capture,
Truly do adore, every little move you make and more, my word is born
But I could go on and on throwin hints,
That I'm the chick, you should be celebratin' life wit,
So instead I felt it best if I just,
Stood and represented in the flesh.. that I confess!

Scientists Say She's the 2nd Sunshine

2009-04-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

[!] Public Announcement:
I, Denise Roldan, publicly and sincerely apologize for the lack of posting for the past however days & weeks. With the help of the internet's innovative outlets, I have proof that plenty of you visit this site daily expecting an entry but then get easily disappointed and bored. But dun dun dun... I'm back! I hope to slowly recuperate back onto the blogging scheme for the sole purpose of feeding your D curiosities? Plus, my April archive is looking a tad bit too empty down there. Oops.

Anyway! With all formalities aside, let's get down to my current nitty gritty :
- I'm off work from today until next Tuesday, baby! Hooray for week offs! But being at work interacting with varying personalities then being all chill after the busy-ness ain't so shabby either. Just yesterday I received this comment card so my co-worker forced me to take a picture of it on my phone to satisfy her entertainment. Well.... I admit, it IS pretty funny.

- Not only am I Gold-Blooded but I'm also gold-tongued. Thanks to Mikeezy for making me accompany him to "The Fall" last week which evidently lead me to find the only store that sold gold tongue rings!

- I spoiled myself with the help of Live Stock and my first purchase of kicks ever since my Ponys from the Phils. Because as you all know, I'm not nor will I ever be a "sneakerhead/sneakerfreaker" so this is rarity in my lifestyle. But ch-ch-check 'em out. I love bright colors, can you tell?

- My 4-month Summer has commenced! If the past 2 weeks of random but worthwhile chill days and nights in this beautiful Vancouver is any indication of what's in store, break me off a piece of Sum'Sum 09! Look at what's been occupying my weekdays:

- Yesterday after my 7am-12pm shift, my boy and I watched the Canucks sweep St. Louis at the Library Square Public House pub with 2 friends, wooo! I've never been so stoked about hockey before, but I think last night's game probably initiated something in me for this playoff season. So I'm joining the "GO CANUCKS" bandwagon. Sigh, just spending time just watching sports with good grub is a perfect day in my books.

I'll end this post off with some feel-good Atmosphere before I conjure up another post entailing the most "sunshiniest" aspect of my life lately. Look out for post #2 and #3 of today.
In the meantime, "I love the days when it shines, whoa let it shine"

Relate to the Musick

2009-04-20T14:59:00.000-07:00

A throwback but I'm throwin' it back to the present as my anthem as of late :)
"Boy you should know that... I've got you on my mind...."

And, I am Mrs. International. *Hehe.

"Not an Around The Way but an Around the World"

Easter in the West

2009-04-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

After 2 straight days of driving my fam & I to church and holy services on Holy Thursday and Good Friday, I'm glad I sacrificed those peaceful days to my fam & God before my long weekend.

Friday : after midnight cruising for a bbt run then another session of kareoke (haha sounds so asian). Thanks *wink.

Saturday : got my nails diiiid in yellow & zebra tips then proceeded to another epic night with my neighbour, the Wild Coyote Nightclub for Angelo & Earl's birthday celebrations!

Sunday : the absence of a hangover lead me to gallivant the streets of Downtown where I bought mini cupcakes from the delicioso Cupcakes, an outfit for the night and finished it off with a healthy Subway to eat fresh! Fabric nightclub on a Sunday night was the topping to my already kickin' weekend. Thanks SoPhresh fam, Faded fam & thanks to all the homies who came out to get they drank and dance on with me! Pho at around 3am settled the stomach verrrry well as well.

Yes, I have an annoying habit of posting up clubbing pictures on my blog. I just like to prove to the public the amount of fun I experienced with my homies, is that so bad? Haha. Anyway, I think the pictures did justice to the SOPHRESH Easter Long Weekend I had. Have a splendid week everyone! 1ove.

HIP-HOP, YOU REALLY MAKE MY DAY

2009-04-08T15:26:00.000-07:00

THIS JUST IN!!! BEST NEWS I'VE HEARD OF 2009 THUS FAR.

Guerilla Union/Myspace: Rock The Bells 2009 Lineup Freestyle

DOESN'T THAT JUST FUCKING HYPE YOU UP?!?!
Let's make this a priority to go my Hip-Hop lovin' homies! I just hope they don't cancel out on Vancouver just like last time, but if that's the case... I already got a homegirl who's down to travel wherever just to experience this with me. I can't even contain my excitement right now, my mind is going apesh*t. Haha!

To end this post, I'll leave you with MY CURRENT ANTHEM. Soak it in, fellas.

I love how friends refer me to songs that they know will definitely make my ears ooze out goodness. That's Music-type love right there! And forever love to respectable femcees, no doubt!

"Don't gotta spend your last dime on me, I just want you to come spend time with me."
"Everyday I'll be there fo you, your who or what or when why where for you / We could take it could slow or let the romance grow / We could nasty, just ask me, all of this, just run it past me / Hopin' for whatever, gully or keep it classy / Rich or broke it don't matta, we'll be good / We could live, we could dream, we could wish we could."

Pros vs. Cons

2009-04-07T22:49:00.000-07:00

BUST-A THUMBS UP
- Vancouver's warm, sunny, beauuutiful weather lately! Finally Spring decides to spring.
- runs in the sun in my hilly neighbourhood (good for the thighs!) as opposed to being cooped in the gym
- whipping out the tennis racket to torture my dad at the tennis court haha
- ACTIVIA YOGURT + late night snackage + settling the stomach w/ Jasmine green tea
- getting visited at work during the most slow days ever for the duration of an hour *blush
- phonewhore-ing but mainly texting/bbm'ing/dissing back & forth (same sh!t haha) until 3 or 4 am
- Midnight Snack J Dilla mixtape making my ears-gasm! Thanks Shane! (I'm actually in a crazy trance right now...)
- booking off work from today (minus tomorrow night) until Monday! Let's chill.
- GONGSHOW LONG WEEKEND @ YOTE (Saturday) & FABRIC (Sunday). Come party with us/Preshvibe especially for Earl Mendez & Angelo Doromal's 19th birthdays! Gimme a shout for tickets for Sunday while they hotttt.
- random times when my mom just comes into my room to tell me something stupid or funny just to make both of us laugh hahaha
- hooking up my bro's old ps2 to the tv in my room which means unlimited NBA playing time for me & being able to watch dvd's without my Macbook. Thanks bro!
- Tweets rather than Facebook statuses ftw.
- reading on the porch/in the backyard while my brother tackles his homework beside me
- putting aside personal life drama & hostility for the sole purpose of teaming up for work. Thanks for reaching a compromise with me, nigga. Don't worry, there will be a progress to this angst, but time will tell.
- this fempowering but still in-dependent of a man feel good jam!

THUMBS DOWN
- missing the first beach outing of the year with the homeboys while they all call/text me at work :(
- my new (or should I say resurrected) nocturnal ways. I can't sleep before 3 anymore! But I guess it's a sure sign of Summer?
- VCC vs. UVic to obtain a Hospitality/Hotel Business Management degree before I go to Law School. Being a ferry away from friends and fam or going to school in downtown? (Kwantlen's not doing anything for me) This decision is too hard. I'm gonna let this whole Summer inspire me.
- this picture - although it's funny it gets a thumbs down cause it's so mean! Haha.
- being unable to contain your hyperactivity prior to making mini pancakes from scratch (got inspired by this)
- commuting around town still being car-less because of my indecisiveness, sorry parentals :(
- missing out on The Roots block party at UBC tomorrow because I gotta tend to hotel guests, sigh.

Notice how there are more points of ups than downs?
"Just for life I'm pursuin', growin', but hopelessly romantic still. Tasted weather in the bitter climates, love the sunshine better." (love you Jean Grae)

2009-04-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

"Special girl, real good girl, biggest thing in your itty bitty world"

The crappy beginning of my week made a complete 180 to the end. I don't know whether the hostility contributed to that or it was just finding that closure within myself. I expected this because sure, a change in character is pivotal (to an extent), but too much force out of its own nature will inevitably fail. (Duh) It was never my intention to change you, cause we do get along; but just in the context of good friends. And that you are, still. It was my fault for being blinded by being "rescued, chased, made up to" to actually realize that those efforts were merely for a prescribed cause, not for a natural sequence of events. I apologize for being too much, expecting too much & needing too much from you. We're just in two different worlds at the moment & it wasn't that time for those worlds to clash to produce an "ideal". For ya'll that counseled me that "he'll never get better than you" or that I will be "aight" - thanks for the bright side, but as much as I was down for those few days I already knew as much optimism as I put in to this, I had to produce the equal amount for the end effect. So that's exactly what I've been up to lately. (This song, this song, and this song helped too) This isn't a front either. This is a genuine self-peace. (Being comforted by a mass and my fam's presence on Saturday paved this way cause it's Blood & Faith when all else fails.)

So fellas? As high as my expectations are for you to break down these walls which, I know, is obviously a threat to all of you to grasp, manage and keep consistent, I'm gonna throw it all away just to stress one thing!
My value in simple things. So for future reference, I'm gonna let ya'll decipher what that means so we can both revel in the outcome.

Take notes:

An edit of my type-Love?
a- Love Jones will stay when your Love zones the way.
(getting a surprise visit at work like that today is nice too, sigh.)

Queen B Ish

2009-04-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to watch her concert last Tuesday cause my busy schedule prevented me from remembering to buy tickets! Damn. And I know it was a concert definitely not to miss out on cause she embodies not only a diva, but also the greatest female performer thus far. But she'll be back here in Vancouver so next time for me!

In the meantime, check out Kanye's remix of her single "ego". His part is pretty fcking funny!

And B being a spokesperson for Nintendo DS? Can she get any cooler?! (and need I say, richer for doing these ads haha.)

And hmm.. check this link out for proof that Love, Sex & Magic was a medley of Beyonce's greatest moves. Ciara is such a scapegoat! Haha. But hey, imitation is the greatest form of flattery right? Right.

All in all, Beyonce Knowles is a fcking ICON. She has everything possible going for herself that can make any lady envious to bits. But ironically, you can't help but love her for it!

I can't see 'em comin down my eyes so I gotta let these songs cry

2009-04-03T02:28:00.000-07:00

Enough to hold you to the brightest of lights, to place you dangerously close to that sun,
Enough to acknowledge the flaws you can't ignore and recognize the cause of what's done is done,
More than enough to put my name behind my ideals,and neglect my logic twice daily.
Enough to keep me looking for my Gem in the Sky, when I remember how you used to call me baby,
Enough to look in my mirror with detest for every tear I shed regardless of why I wept,
Enough to curse any man who can't appreciate the depth of the ocean I swam til I ran out of breath!
I love you, don't ever fucking question that, that's why we'll probably never get along.

Though it brings tears to my eyes I can feel it but I know inside that I'm gonna be alright

Funny cause for awhile walked around with a smile
But deep inside, I could hear voices telling me "This ain't right,
don't you know, it's not for you", I always knew what I had to do
I played my part, saw the way you were from the start
Expected so much from you, you had a girl when we first came through
Did the best that you could do, now I realize I can't change you
But leaving you is what I need to do..... to be ok.

Hood Love - Johnta Austin & Mary J
Make It Work - Ne-yo

...all I have to base everything on? A "fuck you" from you to me so frankly, "all my pride is all I have."

A thin line between Love and Hate

2009-03-31T01:36:00.001-07:00

(Hate is a pretty strong word. So I’m going to use it but I really mean it in terms of just having a strong dislike for things at the moment)

I love working at my hotel, making that necessary paper, and partying off the fatigue from doing so at the end of the week.
But I hate my schedule because it automatically gives me the "excuse" that I actually can't go to church anymore. I'm totally lacking spiritual peace.. Also the fact that the many managerial changes are taking place at work sucks massively!

I love my attachment to my Macbook and Crackberry Javelin to the point where I can divert countless hours with just learning from the world wide web (not just Facebook ok? Rather, my most viewed are the Sun/Province newspaper site and my daily trusted blogs) or learning from my friends & relatives on my growing 56 bbm list or those random texts I love receiving!
But I hate technology as a distraction to my studies and even as an excuse not to leave my room to spend time with my family. Oops.

I love being inclined to the tv world once again and pretty much memorizing the times of certain shows *nerd.
But I hate neglecting my itunes filled with underground/new/classic Hip-Hop, Neo-soul & RnB. If I could program my ears to listen to both consecutively from different ears without getting confused I'd do it right now haha. Also, I hate watching tv by myself!

I love(d) binge-eating for the past month (I've grown a frequent craving to fries mmm..)
But I hate that I have to give it up after tomorrow because April marks the start of achieving that desired bikini/toned look I want for the summer. I have to re-implement a workout schedule from now until the weather is appropriate for those leg-baring short-shorts and sleeveless outfits! I'm excited.

I love being in love... that euphoria of being and having that companion on that level. Where everything from talking to/about them, smiling because of/at them, relating to those real Hip-Hop type love songs, thinking about them at random times of the day becomes almost automatic. The fact that loyalty is the most prominent aspect despite both your independent lives or just the unexplainable realness and discovering the simplicity in each other, y'know? I just miss the feeling..
But I hate how love is so close to being tangible. However, I can't even begin to look into that feeling if it's all about the surface. Sometimes I even hate that I seem so high-maintenance when it comes to this department; how hard is it to ask for an equal attraction to your thoughts, the workings in your world compared to our already present chemistry? I'm hoping you delve into your inner character to find that you really do have what we're lacking, not just because I advised you of my wants & needs. "I can't get serious with a guy whom I'm lacking so many things from and you also can't get serious with a girl who is asking for more than what you can offer." For now, I just miss my best friend..

I love my friends! I think I have been surrounded by some of the greatest and chillest people ever. I am grateful for each part they play in my life. I'm the type not to be regrettable for losing those from the past because I can walk away knowing I worked hard to keep the losses from occurring. So now I've grown to accept that there are just those that aren't supposed have a permanent spot especially if my efforts aren't appreciated or even at all recognized.
But I hate people that make it tolerable to neglect one of their closest friends just because they see a significant other more often. I mean if you can make the effort to make time for the person that you're fucking and the one who's obviously obligated to you then it should swing the same way for the person who's there for you unconditionally when you are with or without a significant other. Unless I'm mistaken that bf's/gf's hold more importance because of those frequent emotional & physical "benefits"? Either way, peace up... index down because I'd never, ever tolerate losing my homegirls/homeboys to a boyfriend! That's just downright selfish and immature.

I love buying such cheap articles of clothing and improvising them to wear. For example, y'know that plaid dress I wore to the Yote on my previous entry? That was just a normal buttoned down men's polo shirt ($10) from one of my vintage stores but I turned it into a dress without the need to cut or make alterations. All it was was turning the shirt around to hug my body and knotting the sleeves in the back (which was thankfully hidden by my cardigan or else you'd see the back of my bra haha)
But I hate how I'm not talented enough to pursue anything in the fashion industry :( I guess it's always been a far-fetched dream aside from my aspirations of being a Lawyer. I predict me as being one of those people in the future that frequently changes careers... and I'm cool with that! But for now, altering clothes and outfits will just remain a hobby haha.

Hahahaha so true! What do you love and/or hate right now?

Weekend Hype

2009-03-30T00:23:00.000-07:00

I know what all of you are thinking "wow, Denise is such a party animal nowadays that it's not even funny anymore!" S'all good though because it's not like I'm going to bite your head off if you all have those pre-concieved notions. You just aren't aware of the degree of balance my week holds prior to the partying on the weekend :)

Friday entailed skytraining and catching up with Mikeezy to Surrey until Jel picked us up from the station, watching the bboys practice (as I squinted from watching their moves because it looks so painful!) at Guilford Rec, sippin' on some vodka and a green substance that Ivan called "green dragon" which tasted much like listerine (gagfest!), watching the wasted sillies and the video gamers while I sobered myself up, witnessing a "bro-code" conversation in the room (too bad the female species don't have our own "sista-code" or else we'd all be hella chill with each other to this day), getting picked up by Chris where we proceeded to grab some McD's for our anticipated munchies (y'know what I'm sayin'?) then getting home at 4am. Then, Saturday was another night Yote! Not just a normal party though.. it was a celebration of birthdays! Shouts to our homeboy Gino Conorado & Phreshvibe's very own, MJ Labao for doin' it up last night! The dress code was plaid so y'know how fresh the crowd looked. Don't believe me? Maybe some pictures will sway ya'll (minus pictures from the after-club munch at Denny's):

Anyway, as much as my busy body loves these 4 consecutive of partying on Saturdays, I proclaim the end of my streak now! I won't be clubbing until Earl & Angelo's birthday 2 night encore that we will be hosting. Time for some chill, laid back, me time until then (plus a rackin' in hours at work 5 days/week). Time to rejuvenate my whole tainted system!

Have a good week everyone; "keep knockin' keep rockin'"
...cause I'm just "a damsel in distress in pursuit of Happiness."

New Musick

2009-03-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

I was already feelin' Tip's original of this song but this remix is pretty bumpin' too!
Get at it.

Meth & Red have an upcoming album for this year so watch out for that. But in the meantime, this collabo with UGK is pretty bossin! The beat makes me just wanna krump or somesht (if I knew how, that is).
Download!

"Sounds so beautiful, don't you agree" - I agree, Jay Z! (Although this is just a sample)

"Ain't too many Good Girls who got they own dough, who got they own flow, who ain't looking for sugar no more"

2009-03-27T15:01:00.000-07:00

Not only did I already have mad respect for Wale for his flow and lyricism, but he got further on my good side with his tribute to Good Girls. How many songs commend that nowadays? Thank you, Wale.

D is INK'D

2009-03-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

...but with an "R" symbolizing my last name, Roldan that forms into a cross, obviously symbolizing my faith. Which are my top 2 life priorities! The cross has a double entendre (aka double meaning) though because it can also stand for Tribunalo, which is my ma's side of the family and I can't forget about them! I purposely placed this tattoo behind my right ear because it will act as a constant reminder of the right side of my conscience being directed by my God and my family....

(Don't mind the saran wrap covering cause these were taken right after it was done)

And these were taken during the tatty process..

PS. This whole tattoo plan was not carefully thought up over an overwhelming amount of time. Rather, it was like I went through a random epiphany one day of what the design should look and mean like. I always knew I wanted one behind the ear, too. So this tatty was actually all out of spontaneity!

I Still Love H.E.R.

2009-03-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

Yeezy, Common and Badu freestyle at SXSW.

Am I that only frustrated soul dwelling on the fact that Vancouver has never been blessed to hold such a performance like this? And come on... I know ya'll knew this was coming: give it up to Erykah Badu for holding it down with her femme self in that sorta atmosphere! Bonus tidbit: remember when Common and Erykah were an item? Goddamn, Love of My Life fasho!

And I just stumbled on this and decided to post it cause if you didn't know.. I'm a sucker for songs that emcees put out there to commemorate a girl or their presence in their lives. This one's a bit random but I was just talking to a friend of mine about how it's very rare to see a hip hop video (about females usually) nowadays without attaching bling, cars, $$$ and objectified "sexy" ladies to it. Amen? Although that's already a modern societal given. But hey, this one's an exception:

Media Moment

2009-03-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

Common's collab line with Microsoft (heh?) called Softwear. There are 4 designs but I only like 2 out of the 4. I WANT "I USED TO LOVE HER" SOOO BAD.

Ryan Leslie is so talented! Eeee.

I know how much ya'll feel this song! Everyone in this video looks so fly right?

Kanye's had his share of dope Complex Mag covers but this one just tops it off.
What a sick photoshoot, huh?

Torn

2009-03-23T16:55:00.000-07:00

1 -

2 -
Am I..
Expecting Too Much
or
Not Getting Enough ?

3 -

You're physically in this, but how can we tell
If we was meant to be in bliss, you'd be mentally as well
This energy you're sending me is tricky as hell
Cause it's like: off and on, on and off
Passion - Lost and found, found and lost
Clashin', I'm askin' for nothing but understanding
My heart's made of glass, use care in handling

Randumb

2009-03-22T20:05:00.000-07:00

- I've been wanting to blog ever since I woke up from my nap roughly 4 hrs ago but I've been seeking for inspiration. That was definitely a fail. My bb and my tv for may be accountable for offering such distractions as well.
- MY WEEKEND WAS TOO GOOD:
Friday night
- Late-night gallivanting in downtown with Gayle.
- Chris' slow ass finally picking us up at 12:30am while we waited at Wavez.
- #9 restaurant in Richmond for a late-night feast with Chris & Gayle
- Kareoke in Burnaby all thanks to Chris taking charge on where to chill
- Chris & I taking over the mic from 1-4am cause Gayle is a sleepy & boring non-singer, pft.

- Chris driving me home to find out that my ma & brother were out longer than I was on a Friday night!
Saturday
- Calling in sick for work due to my loss of voice from that late-night kareoke session
- JUST FOR KICKS BBOY JAM - man, how I've missed those! As usuale, I was hyped in that atmosphere
- Bryan's house (thanks for having us homie!) to kick it before the legals went to Yote
- Bussing/training from Surrey to Yote was an adventure in itself

- Yote on guest list with a slightly different crew consisting of JR, Jel, Gayle, Chris, Mjay, Nessa, Alex Hevia + friends, Chris Colonia, Richard, Eric, Erika + friends then... the rest of the night was lost by alcohol. Btw, I'm not an alcoholic. I swear!

- I just finished nursing a hangover! And that's after puking at least 5 times at work. All I gotta say is: 7am Sunday shifts are brutal! Especially after a gongshow night of clubbing. This is the 2nd week I've done that & I can't keep up with it! No more. Ever.
- WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY, MEN?
- I'm fcking cranky as hell. The end. Sorry to bore you! I'll vent soon.

5 Lessons About the Way We Treat People

2009-03-20T11:12:00.001-07:00

A "re-blog" that I thought was very essential & interesting that I wanted to share with ya'll. Enjoy comtemplating on the post on the first day of Spring! ~~(Rain, rain.. go away! Come again... NEVER.)~~ (Thanks for finally coming out Mr. Sun!) Happy Friday too! Unfortunately, mine doesn't start until I get off work at 5pm today. S'allllll gravy though, mama got paid for working 67hrs x $16 today. $$$, hello.

1st Important Lesson - "Cleaning Lady"
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:
‘What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?’
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen thecleaning woman several times. She was tall,
dark-haired and in her 50’s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. ‘Absolutely, ’ said the professor. ‘In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘hello.’ I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2nd Important Lesson - "Pickup in the Rain"
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soak ing wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960’s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read:
‘Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.’
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3rd Important Lesson - "Always Remember Those Who Serve"
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
‘How much is an ice cream sundae?’ he asked.
‘Fifty cents,’ replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and
studied the coins in it.
‘Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?’ he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
‘Thirty-five cents,’ she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins.
‘I’ll have the plain ice cream,’ he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4th Important Lesson. - "The Obstacle In Our Path"
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5th Important Lesson - "Giving When it Counts"
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, ‘Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.’ As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, ‘Will I start to die right away’. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Wildin' out at Yote

2009-03-15T04:19:00.000-07:00

Okay so, lemme give you the quick break down..
It's 4:30 in the wee hours of the mornin' and my ass just got home. And weee, I got work at 7 am so I'm pulling an all-nighter..... I know that if I sleep I'm never going to be able to wake up in time, that's why.

By the way! I'm just a little, maybe a tad bit, hella tipsy right now so bare with me?

The night consisted of :
- "Jrizzle baby" (says BB Javy) coming over for our own TLC time before we went to Nessy's place
- Nessy's place to chill with JR & Alex intensely duking it out at Street Fighter 4
- Jel & Donnel coming over afterwards to join the party at Nessy's
- "SPECIAL GUEST - DJ AUNG + MIXTAPE RELEASE PARTY" at the Wild Coyote
- Enjoying the crowd, the music, the benefits (such as giving out lollipops to the crowd on the stage haha), and just vibin' with the crew
- Bumpin' in the cyphers. Damn, my homies are crazy dancers!
- Free shots courtesy of the DJs, Phreshvibe CEO and reunited childhood friends (I didn't spend a dime tonight on dranks)
- 4 car convoy to make a 5 minute trip from Yote to the McD's in front of my house
- Making raucous while we ordered, ate and chilled with JR, Jel, Donnel, Nessa, Alex, Lyndon, Paul, Hevia & Nicolle

My verdict?
2 nights of clubbing in a row for the first time & it was a fuckin' blast!
(Minus my sleep deprivation but s'all good.) Although Gossip was successful the other night, I gotta admit Yote topped it off cause of the home-y vibe and being a part of the "family". Definitely my new favourite club to hit up!

Okay frick, honestly, my brain can't contain this whole typing and thinking while still buzzed ordeal right now. So, GOOD MORNING everyone! Wish me luck with my 8 hr shift in 3 hrs haha. FML? Naah, trooper status it is!

Friday Fetishes!

2009-03-14T14:56:00.000-07:00

Last night was the party at Gossip and boy oh boy... was it packed! It's a huge ass location too. It definitely kept consistent with how I remember it a month ago for Serjoe and I's birthday bash.

Anyway!
I am in an abundance of gratitude to Charlene Rivera for recruiting me (along with her fam Jel and Jr) onto her very own promotion team. Last night was our premier gig, with the help of Phreshvibe's top CEO Michael Balicha and it was definitely successful! Hence the packed people and the amount of my homies that hit it up to support. You guys are the shit! I hope ya'll had fun. It was also such a chill opportunity to meet people such as the DJs, the bouncers, the members of Phreshvibe and etc.

Stay tuned for our next and upcoming parties!

Now, let the pics speak for themselves....

Check the neck pieces. The homeboys are def VIP.

My main man and I's first promoting gig, mhmmmmm.

THIS IS FOR ALL THE HOMIES THAT CAME OUT.

WHILE ENJOYING SOME STAGE DOMINATION....

All because of what?

THE A-A-A-ALCOHOL.

my TV + Me

2009-03-08T20:56:00.000-07:00

Guess who finally has cable in her room after 9860586 yrs of wishing so?!

*insert the biggest smile on my face here!!!!

Despite only running on 4 hrs of sleep, then having a very very slow workday alone from 7am-3pm, then making a detour to Future Shop to buy me a 100ft coaxial cable, I finally hooked my life to the addictive television world. Not only that, but I completely rearranged my furniture (that equals my tv stand, my bed, my desk and my dresser) all by myself! Holy crap, I was extremely pooped to the point where I didn't even want to clean my room afterwards. I definitely killed my body today, but I still managed to conjure up the energy to clean and organize.

Anyway, some visuals? Sure.

So, the picture below sums up my future tv junkie life in my room. I swear, all I need in here is a mini fridge and I'd never ever ever step outta here! Haha. Excuse my messy desk beside the tv, I have yet to organize that corner.

In addition, I will also be guilty of multi-tasking on the cyber and media world.

Oh! I can't forget about being attached to my BB "Javy" while I watch some of my favourite shows (like Friends in the picture) haha. That picture below was taken when JR called to say that they're all finally home! Yaaay.

And last but definitely not least.. I can already predict some brother + sister bonding in here cause my brother took all his homework to my room to join me while we watched Family Guy.

Anyway, I have a lot of designing to do to this room of mine. But I'll postpone that until Summer when I can paint it, replace the furniture, and add on a little bit of artistic flair to the huge open wall space above my bed. Any takers on volunteering their creativity? Holler at me!

Now back to my mult-tasking talent, heh heh heh.

A Must Watch!

2009-03-07T21:53:00.000-08:00

The grueling opening scene where "Derrick Vinyard" curb stomps the black man.
Prepare yourself to cringe!

If that was just a teaser for you, you can catch it on now (ever since 9pm) on the History channel! And no, just because it's aired on the History channel doesn't mean it's one of those fall-asleep-in-the-middle type of "educational" movies. Rather, its vulgarity contributes to the immense power the movie entails. J just said, "did you know that the word 'fuck' was used 89 times in this movie?" -- that alone proves one of the reasons why this is far from boring. This will be my 2nd time watching it and that is aside from my discretionary sleepiness I am fighting off right now. And ya'll didn't think a girl like me would like this type of movie genre did you? Best believe it! This tops the list of one of my favourite movies. Just watch for yourself, trust me on this one. (Dare I say it? You may even find it better than American Gangster movie, ooooh!)

Now I must focus on my tv screen, shhhhh.

Risin' & Shinin'

2009-03-06T23:53:00.001-08:00

.. even if the sun did make me squint my newly-awoken eyes. But nothing like a morning at Timmy Ho's before a 9am shift won't fix! (It also included blonde moment cause when I went to go put my tray's items in the garbage after I heard the clunk of the dishes that was when I realized I wasn't at a fast food place. Hahaha delayed reaction much? So, if any Timmy Ho's employees read this with their eyes angrily fixated on what I just said.... I'm sorry if your dishes magically appeared in the garbage. INNOCENT MISTAKE. *Hehe.)

Anyway.
I've been getting up quite early lately. And if you know me well enough, you know that that term 'early' was always impossible when it concerned my sleeping habits; I sleep hella late (3 or 4 am) and I wake up hella late (noon-ish). This now means I can officially proclaim that my days of being a blood-sucking vampire, a ~~big-eyed~~ owl, and a nocturnal ~~bitch~~ are over! Haha. Thank goodness for that because after 19 years of existence, I am finally realizing the benefits of not wasting your whole gaddamn day from being in bed sleeping. So what have I been up to if I don't have a morning shift when I do wake up early? Sweating my ass off on the treadmill and on the yoga mat! Yessir. Mr. Sun gives me more motivation to continue my workout plan too and especially since I know that he will come around more often (if not everyday) this routine of mine will remain consistent until summer. Hot & toned bikini body here I come! Hahaha *crosses fingers.

Another new thing to add onto my list of new things is my increasing paycheque. I think I almost forgot how rewarding it is to be working 5 days a week! I'm happy, my bank account is happy. But then again.... "money can't buy you happiness" - sometimes. Also, my bank account will be untouched for this weekend because I am taking a break from going clubbing. That will for surely win me brownie points from the parents cause every weekend, they expect me to be out until the wee hours of the morning. But nope, not this weekend, ma & pa. Instead of hitting up Gossip last night, I babysat my adorable neice, Amor (and skyping as well). Tonight and tomorrow night will be reserved for more time at the yoga studio after my morning shifts. It's perfect too because the people that I usually hangout with are currently in Seattle killin' it at IDC with their sexy dancing selves. Good luck guys! So, this weekend spells out: R&R and maybe some self-TLC.

I gotta prepare myself tonight for not only a 7 am shift tomorrow morning but also losing an hour of sleep due to Daylight Savings tomorrow. So, this is a friendly reminder for my readers:
SET ALL YOUR CLOCKS 1 HOUR AHEAD (by midnight tonight).
Even if we do lose 1 whole hour of sleep, the plus side is the sun setting later on in the day. And y'know what that means.... Summer is creeping in on us! Heeeeell yeah. The sun plus this whole daylight savings ordeal are all freakin' teases, pft.

One last thing to entertain ya'll:
A Classic

vs.
A Modernized Version

The verdict? NOTHING BEATS A MTHRFCKNG CLASSIC. Thank you very much.

PS. I have the changing-my-blogger-layout ADHD. I'm sorry.

Lyrical Charades

2009-03-05T23:39:00.000-08:00

(Songs that have been specifically dedicated to me by 2 different people.)

1 - Initially,

2 -

3 - Then in conclusion,

[Disclaimer: Listen carefully to the lyrics above if you intend to fully understand the battles boys and their lyricism have put me through as of late]

Like I've always said,
"What [I] want should never hurt this bad."

And like I've always known,
"if relationship is effort I will match your work. I wanna be the one to make you happiest, and hurt you the most."

So like what he said,
"don't sweat the small stuff girl, we both giants. When I look into your eyes I see divine vibrance."
In a sigh of relief I think it's safe to confess,
"the simplest way I can put it, you've become a habit, the more I consume the more I gotta have it."

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you, he likes you. Never try to turn your own day and someday you’ll meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we’re told, implores us to wait for it, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending, we don’t learn how to read the signs, how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don’t, the ones who’ll stay and the ones who’ll leave. Maybe this happy ending doesn’t include a wonderful guy, maybe it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over. Bring yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing through all the unreturned phone calls, the broken hearts, through all the blunder and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment, you never ever gave up hope.
— He’s Just Not That Into You, the movie.

I Got Sprung

2009-03-01T18:55:00.000-08:00

.. cause it's first day of the month of Spring, duh. Okay... and also maybe due to the fact that there was a highlight to my weekend: Melvyn's 19th birthday hizzouse party! February babies are the best huh. Especially with our celebrations and all that good jazz!
No? Pft, forget'chu then! Haha.

Anyway, my whole weekend solely relied on my extremely important rule:
"Play hard but only after working harder" - word.
After working a Friday night shift until 10pm I proceeded to taxi my ass to where the party at. By the way, it only cost me 5 dojas from Marine to Victoria & 22nd! I know you're wondering how I scored such a "deal". Apparently my taxi driver (after he looked me up & down as I walked to the cab when it came) "forgot to turn on the meter". He even warned me once I got to the location that cab rides travelling that much of a distance aren't that inexpensive. CREEPY MUCH? Gad. Hahaha. Once I got to Melvyn's the first thing I that sparked up to mind was hoooooly crap this house is infested with hella people! Then the rest of the night I occupied myself with the "New Crew" for yo's (you know who you are hehe), fleeing myself from the video games/computer room to the King size bedroom where people chilled, to the dancing room (which I initially saw girls giving lap dances to the boys on the couch in the dark haha) and outside for the necessaries. I'm quite proud for deviating myself away from the liqs just because I'm honestly really turned off about every aspect of it. So that's when Mary Jane came to the rescue, thanks betch! In conclusion, "that shirt is very becoming on you, and if I was on you I'd be coming too." /inside joke HAHA. Feast your eyes on the very little pictures that captured the night.

The next day, I was so relieved to not only have a late shift but a full 8 hour one all thanks to my coworker for switching with me! After getting off at 11pm, the boys and I were planning to hit up the Wild Coyote with our hoodies on for "I'm So Hood" Saturdays but since they couldn't find a ride to and from there, I didn't feel like going by myself. However, according to my promoter sources, "you dont even understand....there was noo room to walk... SOO MANY PEOPLE YOU MISSED OUT SOOOOOO BADLY!!!!" - Makes me feel sooo much better after I whined up a storm last night for missing out eh? Hmph. S'all gravy cause there are other opportunities coming up, right? At least I hope so.... haha.

So! It's the first of the month and how did I ring it in? Waking up freakishly at 7:30am on the dot. But that's not the catch. I was supposed to start work at 7! HAHA. I had to get myself out of that trouble, sigh. Thank goodness for slow Sundays at the hotel though. And now, after going on a date with my book, I'm just trying to entertain your (rainy) Sunday night while on Macdaddy with my pimp robe on. To keep up with the spirit of the first of the month, I'll leave ya'll with this:

Mornings are a time for reblogs, to look for inspiration, for reasons to smile, reasons to get up and go.

Sometime before sleep is a time to speak of the day, and the worries, and the joys.

Shortly after sleeping, being awoken by uncertainty, discomfort, that’s the time for profound things to be found and said.

"This [Home] Taught Me Golden Ways"

2009-02-28T17:23:00.000-08:00

I'm glad I expressed those thoughts on my previous entry because now things are slowly looking up and I'm finally finding some sort of inner peace. Especially with the individuals I've been surrounding myself lately, goddamn you guys are gold!

Keep posted on the come up about my weekend this week. Until then,
"When life throws you lemons..... you paint that shit gold!" alright?
Have a good one ya'll.

----

This just in.. (I don't know how many alike conversations like this I've had at work already)
Filipino guy: "Can you give me 30 rooms"
Me: "Haha sorry we don't have that many available tonight"
Filipino guy: "But your manager just told me to come to the front desk, ask a girl named (*looks at my name tag) Denise who has really straight, white teeth and nice eyes for rooms!"
Me: "Haha nice try"
Filipino guy: "What are you.. Japanese... Chinese... Korean...?"
Me: "Nooooope! Filipino."
Filipino guy: "Oh daaang, no wonder why you're so fly!"
Me: "Hahaha not really...."
Filipino guy: "My lines aren't working for you huh."
Me: "Naah, I'm not very flattered"
Filipino guy: "So, if I ask you to come eat sushi with me or go to dinner or something would you go?"
Me: "Haha sorry! No can do. I got me a boyfriend"
Filipino: "Aww, the good and pretty ones are always taken!"
Me: "Hahaha good night!"

The confidence people possess nowadays eh? Hahaha but that made my night cause he was quite a funny one. It's even funnier how I used the "I have a boyfriend" excuse/lie to politely get myself out of those situations time and time again. Haha.

The World vs. You

2009-02-24T21:28:00.000-08:00

My thoughts from my brain, my thoughts from my heart (emphasize on 'thoughts' because I'm attempting to also think with my heart nowadays), my stresses from the outer forces of the world are literally going 9468434 miles per hour, thus affecting my feelings. This isn't any excuse to be the bitch I am right now, but I guess that can explain my sudden headache and altered mood. I'm not going to go into detail about what's irking me cause I've never been one to conceal such explicit and vulnerable facets I'm undergoing but just let me vent...

We suppress our behaviors from the real deal. (Well, when it concerns my personal cases, which explains the smile I fashion when I'm out in public.) The greatest mystery is thy self and slowly, I'm following a manual to define me and what lies ahead. We all came into this world without instruction and we choose what path to follow and we struggle for meaning out of our lives. We all know God gave us blessings, and it's only up to us to be happy. I gave up all dogmatic conventions because I believe that if I were to really want to define myself without the repress of other peoples beliefs I can find honesty in myself. The views of other people that tell me who I am or can be, can alter greatly of how I shape my paths. I feel pretty articulate with what I've become and though it's not been to standard, I've found willingness to pay attention to one thing: myself. Definitely not so much in a selfish manner, but with so much analysis, you can find happiness, and its up to you to make it happen. I want to be able to have a right understanding of the fact of impermanence. The continuity of my future grows out of the past. Things may change drastically throughout time but slowly, I've been able to sustain my attention to what's ahead and only ahead. I love the moments where I can clear my mind, analyze the world around me and see the things I have encountered in a day philosophically, mentally and physically. However, lately that's exactly what I've been lacking. There is really no such thing as a fixated person and that is why I believe we are the cause of our own mysteries by how we think of the world and ourselves. I learn something about myself every single day and that is probably what contents me at the end of the day. Though I may be struggling with my independency and relationships with my family, friends and other -ships, I want to let go of all the restraints of what scare me from fixing things and put a halt to all pathological attachments, such as, problems and people. I think being a certain way by following the rightful path can help anybody find themselves on a much deeper level; not so much leaving bad habits, but the bad habitual self concepts that lead to a dishonest life. Too much effort can get into the way of achievement (cause "when you try hard, that's when you die hard" right J?) and I learned that the more you just let things go the way they're supposed to go, you'll find maturity and harmony in, out, and around yourself. Suffering is only in the mind and by all cause of my inner drama I have right now, I can't afford to fret because I've always been telling myself which then leads to my further belief that everything will be okay. The desire to change the dynamics of your desire will become a habitual reaction, which is good and will leave you with a more qualified feeling. We only suffer because we told ourselves we did; we grow from it and it's up to us to let it go and keep living our everydays. Needless to say, life is full of suffering, but if you learn how to stop the craving and grasping of all negativity in your own mind's pathological end, you'll learn to bypass all conflict and find the mere intentions of why God brought us into this earth...

Note to self: Find the courage for your own convictions, damnit!

- D. Roldan

"Down-to-Earth living at the speed of Life"

2009-02-23T00:57:00.000-08:00

+ being legal age in BC (for the past 2 weeks) =

But since my life has always proven to be following the trend of "what goes up must come down", I really need to get my shit together! After missing so many classes due to tonsillitis, getting my wallet stolen, facing home life issues and trying to keep up the seniority at my work while still going to school, I'll give you a rough outline of what I need to occupy myself with after this blog entry:
- apply for a new driver's license, a new SIN card, a new care card
- apply for a student loan but in the mean time,
- apply for a student line of credit card in order to pay (really really late) for my 2nd semester
- re-arrange my weekly life after withdrawing from 2 of my classes cause of my parent's force for me to work more hours in order to start contributing to domestic finances. Man, just because I'm not stable enough (or emotionally ready) to live on my own yet...
- differentiate whether school or work is the top priority (this one's really hard when your parents are forcing new things upon you cause personally, I know which one tops the list)
- with my (new) 5 day weekend I need to implement a new 5-day workout schedule, working 5 days a week, leisure and academic reading
- speaking of reading! Read Endless Love by Scott Spencer. It's a classic love story before A Walk to Remember or The Notebook came out.
- get my finances together for all the expenses I'm so excited to be taking care of in the future *secret, hehe.

.... and I can't think of anymore. I have all of this written down on my to-do list but I'm too lazy to type all the other small ones in.

Lemme de-brief you with this lesson:
Being 19 is obviously fun with all the new partying opportunities to mingle, dance and meet new people (not to mention a cash burner), but at the end of the day it's a really really grueling reality check. Hence, keeping you on your toes in all aspects of your newly enhanced life. But hey, I'm gon' keep on keepin' on and despite it all, "I got your back even if you don't got mine. Grind in the dark when the clock strikes hard times."

Hella Overdue Thank You's

2009-02-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

My bare walls in my lacking in style and design room is now decked with....

the "We Like Records" poster from Beat Street from the homegirl, Justine Santillan cause she failed to not listen when I jokingly said that I wanted one as well haha.

and a street artist's mural of Common and MosDef from JR Cabello as a meaningful birthday gift cause he knew they were my top 2 fave emcees. The 6am drop infront of my door on the day of my birthday before he went to work is even more impressive!

(Don't mind the scrubbed out hair/face/gear, that was taken days ago before heading to bed)

And how could I forget about Justin Gonzalez's 10 days late birthday entry for me. He always knows how to tickle my funny bone. Check it out for yourself haha.

THANKS LOVES for such simple, but worth miles birthday gifts!

Life Lessons 101 via Shakespeare

2009-02-21T23:14:00.000-08:00

Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg’d comrade.  Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

But in simple English....

Don't say what you're thinking, and don't be too quick to act on what you think.
Be friendly to people but don't overdo it.
Once you've tested out your friends and found them trustworthy, hold onto them.
But don't waste your time shaking hands with every new guy you meet.
Don't be quick to pick a fight, but once you're in one, hold your own.
Listen to many people, but talk to few.
Hear everyone's opinion, but reserve your judgment.
Spend all you can afford on clothes, but make sure they're quality, not flashy, since clothes make the man.
Don't borrow money and don't lend it, since when you lend to a friend, you often lose the friendship as well as the money, and borrowing turns a person into a spendthrift.
And, above all, be true to yourself. Then you won't be false to anybody else.

Even from back in the day, these lessons still speak truth.

GQ Most Stylish Men in America

2009-02-21T19:43:00.000-08:00

These 3 hella to-die-for fellas made it on the list!

1. KANYE, SO FLYE.

Although my tastes disapproved of his new style of music for the world & 808's really gave me a heartbreak, Kanye's style and his aspiring ambition for design is preventing me from permanently blocking him off my list. One word to encapsulate his style (aside from his own line called Pastelle)? GROWN. Word?

Anyway, stylistically, Kanye no longer seems like a sugar-deprived kid in a candy store. Yes, he’s still flashy and attitudinal. But whereas he used to look like he was flaunting all those luxury labels, now he looks like he’s expressing himself through them.

2. STYLE JUST-IN FOR JUSTIN
(Click here for his own clothing line, "William Rast" for unisex!)

From his "LB" or boy-band crooner days, I've always had mad love for this man. Not only does his voice and lyrical abilities reflect his endearingly sexy persona, his sense of style definitely fortifies it!

Remember? He's the man who's creditted in bringing back fedoras, sweater vests, beards, three-piece suits, and skinny ties. As J recently just commented, "I applaud Justin Timberlake though. For being the only white-skinned man out there holding it down for his kind."

3. OH MY, HELLO T.I.

Last but not least of course! Even if his music and lyricism is questionable at times, you can't overlook this guy putting back the 'mean' in demeanor.

Even if I put him on blast for showing his hairy goodies before, let the man educate you about his style himself, “Every morning, I start with my shoes. Usually, I have a pair that I just know I wanna wear, and from there I put my shirt with my shoes, my pants with my shirt, my belt with my shoes and my shirt. I have real basic, old-school, classic style, homey. I’m still a Polo kid. I still like my pants to fit a certain way. I got first-grade pictures of me in suits. So I guess the fact that more formal stuff like blazers is acceptable in hip-hop these days…I could take a little credit for that.”

So, if this post wasn't an amber light (for those non-drivers out there an amber light in BC means "drive with caution") for my men viewers out there...
Take a look at your own wardrobe, and if you want ya dress to express yaself,
TAKE SOME NOTES FROM THESE FLY GUYS.
However, simplicity with a twist of an eye-catching piece in your outfits would make a girl like me go ga-ga for you too. I'm sure many ladies can attest to my preferences as well.

Beyonce "I AM..." Tour

2009-02-17T22:48:00.000-08:00

Date:	Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Time:	6:30pm - 10:30pm
Location:	GM Place

One of 2008's most anticipated new album releases, I AM… SASHA FIERCE is Beyoncé’s first new studio collection since her Grammy-winning multi-platinum-selling B'DAY debuted at #1 on charts around the world shortly after its international release on September 4, 2006 (in celebration of Beyoncé’s 25th birthday).

The lead-in track on the SASHA FIERCE disc is "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)," Beyoncé's scorching anthem of personal empowerment. "That song is all about: 'I've been with you all this time, you're taking too long and now I'm looking hot and you see it and you gotta suffer because you shoulda put a ring on it,'" Beyoncé explains. "In my life, when I put on the stilettos, it's all about being confident, sometimes overly confident, and hearing all the things that women need to hear to boost themselves and go out and to move on."

Fuck, this is going to be one sexy ass concert! I'M SO THERE. I already told the pops to be on the lookout for really good tix from his Casino work! Who's down to come with? I'm already excited...... See ya then B!

DENINETEEN CELEBRATIONS

2009-02-16T16:03:00.000-08:00

FRIDAY THE 13TH
- got picked up by Serjoe to deliver our Gossip tix on his actual birthday day
- seshed with "St. Andrew's"consisting of Serjoe, Rowell, Katia & I
at Costco (I knooow, at the most random place too!)
- got my nails diiiid in preparation for my weekend

- taking a taxi to Gossip with Jamesie
- meeting one of re-definedope's counterpart, Ryan who surprised me with a single red rose for my birthday. The gesture caught me off guard but hella impressed me, so thanks again nigga!

- shot after shot after shot after shot after shot after shot & etc!
1st shot from Arcie of "Red Dragon", 2nd shot from Heather of 151, 3rd shot from Chris which he failed to tell me what it was, 4th shot from Victor of a "Jagger Bomb", 5th/6th shot from being on the VIP cause of Serjoe's promoter status of Grey Goose/JD, 7th shot from Dean of Patron and the rest of the shots? HISTORY. Aka.. I don't fcking remember! But all I know is that I didn't pay a dime for any.

- getting "buck" on the packed dance floor. Thanks to Jr, Jel, Chris, Ryan, Paul E, Paul J and the other random-ass guys (whom I fail to remember as the night with drinks progressed) who gave me birthday dances! I almost forgot how much I missed dancing like that (especially with alcohol).
- losing my purse, then finding it at coat check without my fcking wallet! I know some b*tch took it in hopes of finding some cash cause my Mac powder & bronzer was gone too! But honestly, people are so fcked up nowadays cause stealing used make up with personal oils is just down right nasty. Then, imagine losing your license, care card, s.i.n. card, library card, university smart card & debit card? I felt like I lost my whole indentity! But I am forever grateful that I was carrying my crackberry, cash and camera with me the whole night. Phew.
- puking all over myself which was subconsciously intentional cause I didn't want Serjoe's prelude interior to get christened with my liquids. Thanks to Victor for pulling over just for me to puke on the street. Hahahahaha how embarassing.
- getting home after 4am to make my first destination to the toilet with my dad laughing at me in the background. Sigh.

SATURDAY - VALENTINE'S DAY
- waking up with the worst hangover in all my 19 years of life! Yet again, my mom was laughing at me and lecturing me how I should just stay with just one type of alcohol next time haha.
- running my own errands just to get a new debit card and new Mac makeup on the worst headache in the world
- munching on the buffet food in our own banquet room at my work & getting worked up over the chocolate fondue/fountain for the fruits haha
- conspiring to get 20+ people up to room 316 & being successful!
- making a liquor run with Erika & Donnel. It marked the first time for Erika & I to buy drinks legally woooh! But it wasn't so easy picking what kind to buy for the girl and guys...
- Chillin', drinkin', photoshootin', watchin' tv, droppin' verses in room 316 all the while saying "SHHHH!" every few minutes on 2 beds that were pushed together
- passing out at 4am as everyone except the peolple who crashed left little by little..

SUNDAY AFTERMATH
- ihop (my favourite) brunch with lovely talks
- going back to my place of work where I partied at to work haha
- online streaming the NBA All Star game on my Mac at work
- topping off my weekend with the WEST WIN & the co-mvp's being awarded to my hubby Kobe & the monster Shaq (I miss you 2 by the way..)

So, I know this question has been lingering in the air ever since my actual 10th of February birthday..
Did my weekend redeem it?
HELL YEAH. THAT'S EVEN AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

I don't even think I could conjure up the greatest appreciation within me for those who came out, took care of me, made my nights & early mornings worthwhile these past few days! Since I didn't have just one Valentine this year... lemme conclude this full of adventures blog by dedicating this to ya'll.

Manhood Pre-requisites

2009-02-12T23:36:00.000-08:00

Q: What pre-requisites do we have for manhood in a pro-hip hop but still-capitalist world?
i.e. What do we still think makes a man 'grown'?

First and foremost, check out the film below:
Barack & Curtis: Manhood, Power, & Respect

As women there are traits that we (been taught and encouraged to) think make a Man, or at least make men appear more mature and responsible to us. But how dependable are these supposed 'must haves'?
The ones I see as central in hip hop and many Brown & Black communities are...

"Thuggish" Demeanor
Somehow a man ain't a man to us if he ain't rough and rugged to some degree. I know we street up in here, but we need to check how we measure this. I used to say that I needed a man who was all chin up in the air and hard, cause I wanted a man who wouldn't be phased by my strength or "intellect". The way I understood this was that I needed someone who ran as fast as me. I struggled with this - I questioned gender, monogamy, heteronormative life, but still as a city-bred, assertive girl I wanted an in-your-face boy to match..... Yet, as self-critical as I tried to be, I also said 'Hey I like who I like, it is what it is.'

Well with age I've realized that there are more than a 100 ways for a man to express his masculinity. It doesn't have to look/sound one way. A man ain't gotta move just like you to compliment you. Nor does he have to be as loud (or quiet) as you to be able to 'handle you' or 'understand you.' In addition, being loud or grilling everybody does not make you a man.

A "9-5" job
There's still a general assumption that a man ain't "type wifey" (aka type partner) unless he has a super stable income. In our society we understand this to be a 9-5 salary with benefits gig. This isn't without logic cause we all know many talented, creative dudes who still ain't got their money and planning on lock... and it's about to be their 34th birthday. However we need to look at work ethic, not just the kind of work. Granted if he's a d-boy forget how hard he works, you need to leave him alone! But hopefully you get what I mean. A person who knows how to hustle, has drive, and wants to build up multiple skills is probably going to end up more mentally and financially stable than a dude who consistently 'plays it safe' and is lucky enough to benefit from the informational technology boom cause he majored in computer science. (No offense to my computer nerds in tha house. I got love, y'all are creative too! It's just an example.)

I'd also like to add that 'financial stability' needs to be replaced with 'financial sustainability.' Life should be about building with a group, not about individuals hording riches for their own comfort. Yenno? What this means for young single folks is that you are playing ya self if you think you're gonna find some rich person to settle you down (*ahem gold diggas)... Real financial stability and sustainability is something people create together over time!

Access to money and ownership of property
We still have the idea that a man is more grown when he has access to money (through career, future inheritance, etc.) or when he owns something solid - a house, land, or a debt-free business. It is true that a healthy business can be a sign of responsibility, however these things do not guarantee that he is stable. I know plenty of women and men who got these things, but lack the overall mindstate to be truly "type wifey".

That's all for now. If you want, holler back and drop some knowledge?

Public Announcement

2009-02-11T16:23:00.000-08:00

"SINGLE LADIES" &
"BIRTHDAYS WERE THE WORST DAYS" FOR DENISE & SERJOE!

Brought to you by Virtuoso Promotions, Independent Vancouver, Lavish Entertainment and Nuevo Productions!
Spinning on the 1s and 2s: DJ Plus Scratch + Guest
Also performing on the dance floor: Kill the Lights dance crew.
DRESS TO IMPRESS! Fuck that Ed Hardy/Affliction/Smet/Christian Audigier shit.

It's coming up reaaal soon so, holler at me & I'll holler at Serjoe to pass up your tix!
And friends of mine who have yet to get officially legalized? Fakeys won't work cause Gossip scans. So your best bet is to borrow your older cuz's or an older friend look-a-like's BC ID. Get at it so you can join in ripping shii up on Fri the 13th. Plus, not only is it Serjoe's actual birthday on that day (woooh!) but it may be a first for a lot of you to see your very own D fucked up outta her mind. I already got my dances shottied so get at yours! Hahaha.

COME OUT, BUMP TO THE MUSICK, TIP TO THE A-A-ALCOHOL.

Nineteen/Vingt Neuf/Diecinueve

2009-02-10T17:37:00.000-08:00

However, in whatever language it all has one meaning.
I'm hoping that this upcoming weekend will redeem what it means to have a birthday.
So stay tuned!

First in-person greeting: Donnel.
First phone call greeting: B.
First bbm greeting: J.
After midnight the calls, the texts, the Facebooks walls got my Berry ringing off the hook!
But I was unfortunately unable to attend to them cause I was behind the wheel.
... but driving in a car, feeling all liberated? That's gotta mean something. I'mma find out.

HELLA L♥VE TO THE GREETERS, THE DAY-MAKERS & MY COMPANY ON THE WEEKEND.

In the meantime... this was the first song I was bumpin' to as it struck 12am February 10th.

So don't stress it sweetie
You write in cursive, I write in graffiti
Shit I held upside in the streets for you
In the streets people ask about me and you
I tell them, "We go through what most people do"
Lets... let go of fear, love.

Last Weekend of Eighteen'dom

2009-02-08T23:28:00.000-08:00

After a whole school week aka Mon-Thurs of being bed-ridden with massive glands and an excruciating fever that kept coming back (and if ya'll don't believe it, I got my doctor's note to prove it to ya) , I didn't think it was possible but.... my weekend redeemed it. Ha viruses, in yo' face!

Friday consisted of..
- "B & D" part ii at her crib
- Ebisu dinner for Alex's 21st birthday dinner aka sharing 4 plates of food between us 2
- Downtown gallivanting part ii then randomly spotting Angelo
- "Truth hurts" talk. Asdfgh!! Sigh.
- splitting a cab 3-way to get home

Saturday was spent..
- catering to my hotel guests 9am-1pm
- paying my respects to my Lord at church before my birthday comes
- an intimate dinner with strictly my bloodline at The Keg in Richmond
- getting bloated and food-coma from my prime rib & lobster dinner with complimentary chocolate ice cream cake
- getting surprised with a 24 karat guardian angel gold necklace from my parents to complement my other Jesus piece!
(when my ma was reaching in her purse for it I was hoping she'd be taking out car keys of some sort haha)

Sunday entailed..
- shopping that I haven't done in ages with me, myself & I (I like shopping by myself most of the time cause it gives me the time in the world to fight with my conscience about which things to purchase or not) for my birthday outfits!
- re-visiting my secret vintage stores in Vancouver
- getting 2 free belts cause I was talking to the owner about fashion and how I rarely go to commercially based stores now but rather tweak older clothing to look like new. She said it was my birthday present from her! Sweeeet.
- getting rescued and scooped up by my homeboys cause I was hungry like a mthrfckr with only consuming breakfast today
- Simply Delicious dinner boxes w/ Jace, JR, Donnel, Andrea, Jel, Mikeezy, JP, Gino, Valentina (girl from Edmonton) & Bryan.
- QE chillage (literally cause it was hella freezing; thanks for your windbreaker/hoodie D!) with the same crowd
- Joyce station chillage encored

In conclusion, famILY, homegirls, & homeboys..... you did it for me once again! Way to peace my last weekend before turning the age of legality in BC. Thankyathankyathankyathankya. Endless love from here on out!

♫ EVERYDAY IS A NEW DAY /
GOT TO CELEBRATE & APPRECIATE /
WHAT WE DO BEST /
OOOH I FEEL BLESSED.

NEXT WEEKEND? Bring. It. On.

"Operation Phoenix"

2009-02-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

What is it?
A new one-of-a-kind community outreach program to benefit the less fortunate on the downtown east side.

I've been meaning to blog about this local topic ever since I watched the news at my doctor's waiting room. Here I am doing so in attempts to keep myself awake at work!

Anyway, as you all know with the Olympics hitting home in 2010 our municipal government has bent over backwards trying to improve numerous amounts of city aspects that we overlook daily (ie: more skytrains running in a couple of months). And I know that most of you (well those who read and keep up with the news like myself) disagree and are vengeful with the amount of money these city improvements have weighed not only in the goverment's funds, but also our funds because we pay it to them. But I think it's safe to say that my tongue's negative comments concerning this launch will remain un-uttered. Because come on, who isn't terrified to visit Hastings not only during dark hours but in broad daylight as well? Who isn't hesitant when walking even with a bunch of people by your side throughout the "poorest and unsafest" areas in our downtown community in paranoia that something might happen? Who isn't willing to put these addict-striken individuals in a place where not only are they able to potentially treat their ailments but make themselves as well as others feel safer in the community? If you disagree with all my rhetorical questions then DAMN. How heartless are you.

The picture above doesn't suffice to how horrid the conditions of the environment are for everyone. New York used to have scenes like this one from Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. Then things changed, and they could here, too.

Hence, more introductions of "SROs" (Single Room Occupancy) hotels are being put into effect in that part of town.
Other goals of this operation include:
1. Committed to raising awareness of conditions.
2. Committed to provoking dialogue and debate around all the issues facing the residents and business owners.
3. Committed to celebrating what is working and exposing what is broken.
4. Will hold specific people accountable to help facilitate change.
5. Will actively push for the change that’s needed to improve people’s lives.
6. Will work to engage communities in and outside of the Downtown Eastside in our quest to find workable solutions.

I am not here to advertise (although it may seem like it haha) but I'm just here informing ya'll to raise your awareness that it ain't only you trying to survive in this dog-eat-dog city and/or world!

Anyone wanna register with me to volunteer our time to organizations working in he Downtown Eastside? But if not.. shame on you! Haha just kidding, that's cool too.

L

2009-02-05T20:15:00.000-08:00

is for Lakers.
(who aren't the Losers once again tonight)

Sorry Celtic fans! I ain't hating cause the Celtics are a powerful team as well, especially with their main 3.
It's just that.. not only do I gotta remain faithful, but it's amazing how the opposition's home court advantage don't phase LA anymore. Don't ya think?

And for all those Kobe haters out there, this team ain't all about him anymore...
Pau Gasol was the top performer tonight with 24 points and 14 rebounds.
So, despite Kobe's horrible scoring game they still managed to edge Boston.

Not only did they snap Boston's 19-game winning streak on Christmas Day that sent the Celtics into a 2-7 skid (which is the worst stretch of the New Big Three era), the Lakers also snapped the Celtics' 12-game winning streak tonight!

Yee, good on you Lakers men!

D' mind in a nutshell

2009-02-04T23:24:00.000-08:00

Mind stimulation. Hectic turns into calmness. Stillness is in distress of something indefinable in thus the finding in the stillness causes the seen. The fullness of this seen should not contain the greatness of this fullness. In the midst of the sum thought balance. Should it be that the fullness would be war of these sum thoughts? Out of these sum thoughts the fullness continues to follow flow. To be exact, breeching of mental balance in its free openness has chased fears & close with no cause. They begin to fade away with a pause. We then are puzzled with turmoiled memories of lifes' forgotten. It heckles with no remorse. But then again, with the presence of no fear... it whispers with no attendance.

Why is it that we are shadowed by those that do not concern us? Is it what which we are curious about or is it the template that people use to reach true satisfaction?

We do not know of what fear. Is it a thing with the past, the present, and the future. Its the fear of the chaotic outside world. Our fear is not the cause of the physical however the fear of the mind. Its the fear that is built in the mind which is created by thoughts. Our fears are characterized by our mind. Our minds can be a very manipulative source to trick the mind of concentration. We are not a controller to others however more to oneself. You are your own force to face. Your own fear to face and hate. You are controlled by your mind that does not control your true feelings. You separate the mind and heart. When it should work together. Live with a hated nature we deny the wrong doings. You disconnect the real from yourself. I guess, its a cause of desertion of the mind that revolves of the mind of the weak. Resembles a hardship between a mastery of over human self. The fact that of feelings or actions falls appealing to the deserted mind. That, my friend is a major fall of thinking.

Don'tmurdermymeaningcausemywordismysoul,
D.

PS. You didn't have to understand my 'thesis' - if you will, in the above. Neither do I expect others to fully grasp my sporadic thought processes. It was just a fun way to release some negative mind stimulation you know? Thanks a bunch for reading, or attempting to read the content! DON'T HURT YA'SELF.

PPS. Read this reply. Decipher for yourself the beauty of that simple but complex-worded understanding. In reward, you get that Diamond In The Rough.

RE: "25 Random Facts"

2009-02-03T19:49:00.000-08:00

via Facebook because I've been gratefully tagged by Bianca Ilano, Harriet Dizon, Linda Nguyen, Chris Chan, Ryan Narita & Melanie Ho Ken. I decided to post it up here cause I have no one else to tag on Facebook considering that everyone's done this already!

1. I was born in Manila, Philippines but I can't be compared to the "thrilla from Manila" cause I abandoned that place after 6 years of age. And plus, I'm not an internationally acclaimed boxer haha. I wish though! I left a 12 year duration of not going back, too. Horrible, I know. But I love my roots! You can't call me a "fob" cause I've been statused as "white-washed"

I am a proud owner of that t-shirt in blue thanks to Justing who purchased it for me online via "Legends League"

2. My ma confessed that she was supposed to name me Reanna Lauraine rather than Denise Isabelle if I was born on Valentines day to commerate "Renelita & Laureano's" (my parents' names) love for each other. But too bad that I was born 4 days early cause that would've been a pretty name with a sentimental value. I call dibs on naming my first born daughter that!

3. In the Philippines, I graduated Kindergarten at the top of my class awarding me with the "gold" medal for overall academic achievements among 200 5year olds. I guess that explains why the teacher would always want me to watch over the class when she stepped out of the classroom briefly.

4. I was a part of the Girl's Scouts in the Phils
where we did numerous performances of Hawaiin dancing, Filipino tribal dancing and etc etc.

I was right-smack-dab in the front middle for every performance, I have no idea why to this day..

5. I also took up singing, dancing and piano lessons when I was 8 for a little while. (Yes, omfg I took La Riva classes and singing lessons from my piano teacher) I had to quit though. I mean, I hella enjoyed every aspect of it but money was tight especially for a family that newly migrated from a 3rd world country to one of the world's wealthiest economies. I wish I continued..

6. I've been playing basketball ever since the 2nd grade. After moving from a public school to St. Andrew's in 5th grade, I immediately became the basketball captain until 7th grade. Thus, awarding me the "Academics and Athletics" award/cup for my grade 7 graduation. I also became the captain for my 10th grade basketball year. Unfortunately, the only basketball I play now are on video game consoles and street ball with the homeboys. Playing on a team with its high and low perks is too incomparable! My love for the game will never be anything to fck with, I promise.

Always rockin' that #8 if that number wasn't taken already.

7. As high school started, I had to choose between joining sports or choir upon my parents' request. Evidently, I chose the high school sports way of life. I couldn't have been more happier to be a part of the volleyball and basketball teams (that definitely became family) for all of my 5 years! I wish I could've done both though, who knows what path my life could've taken. Now I'm just a talentless girl! Boo.

8. I've gotten straight First Honor Roll achievements ever since the "honor roll system" was welcomed into my academic career (aka gr. 5 to 12). That means every school term with a 3.5 to 4.0 GPA. And that's minus the pressure my parents ever put on me cause they didn't force me to attain good grades but rather, I programmed myself to do so according to my high goals, drive and ambition.

9. Ever since I could talk I've always wanted to become a lawyer, according to my parents. To this day, I still aspire for the same dream. But not a criminal lawyer that deals with offenders but a family lawyer that helps out marriages and child custodies. I've always been a sucker for family despite the negative masses. But what's changed about this dream of mine is perhaps... a lawyer that alters vintage clothing on the side as a hobby and one that attends Hip-Hop shows with her favourite Hip-Hop-lovin' homies. How does that sound?

10. I have naturally wavy hair. Not that kind of curly-in-bouncy-ringlets though. When I went to the Philippines in July 08 I finally got my hair permanently straightened. Sometimes I miss the spontaneity of my wavy hair but to my preferences, straight hair is easier to maintain and a lesser hassle to style daily.

In grade-fcking-9.... being a pathetic poser with my side bangs hahaha.

11. I have never, ever, ever received "allowance" from my parents on a weekly basis especially if I do chores around the house. I was not disciplined to rely on money to do chores but rather to help out my mom who is a clean freak. So, once I first got employed at the age of 15 I immediately learned the value of money the hard way. And I give mad appreciation to my parents for teaching me to be money-independent from the get-go.

12. I've worked at the same location for the last 3 (going on 4) years. If you're ever going to the Costco in Richmond and happen to see the black and white hotel right in front of it called the "Best Western Abercorn Inn"? Come visit me or wave from your car to the front desk clerk! I first started out as a restaurant bus girl bussing tables for $8/hr then being a banquet server for $10/hr then getting promoted to the front desk for $16. So don't get all jealous at how I make so much more than all of you because I worked from the bottom too okay?

13. I have naturally straight, and small teeth that have never needed braces. I used Crest white strips for 2 weeks in gr 11 and my teeth have been white ever since! Haha.

14. I've been burned, abandoned, disappointed, heartbroken and all the good stuff by the opposite sex ever since I checked into the dating scene. Name any sort of negative mishap by boys.... I've been there and back. Sad, I know. However, never have I ever retaliated or been vengeful about it by doing the same shady thing I've endured. So, all these boys that I perceive to have fucked me over confuse the shit outta me as to how I deserve these games put upon me. But yenno what? I'm still the hopeful, optimistic, old-fashioned and biggest believer in chivalry by not only the opposite sex, but my end too. I've said this once and I'll say it again.. I just want one, just freakin' one male out there to prove me wrong that I deserve to be treated fairly and mutually.

15. I used to have a dog named Sugar who was a mix breed of Chihuahua and Yorkie. She passed away a month after we left her here cause we went to the Philippines. She was unjustifiably run over by a car because my house is adjacent to a busy main street. She was only a year and a half years old when she passed away! It still breaks my heart to this day that she no longer sleeps on my bed or that I can no longer say bye to her before I leave the house. I am a believer of Doggy Heaven though! So that keeps me from crying every time I see someone elses dog. I swear, the heartbreak I felt when I lost her is even worse to all the heart break's guys have put me through but once I am ready to fill this void of losing my first ever dog, I will purchase myself another dog.

16. I used to own rabbit. My brother named him Tupac. Why? Cause he was black. (Justin loves to laugh at this fact the most) Unfortunately, he found him lying in my back yard with his insides gone. Why again? Cause coyotes devoured it overnight... TELL ME WHY I HAVE THE WORST LUCK WITH PETS. Sigh..

17. My feet have its own talent of fitting into my brother's sneakers! Hence, borrowing them without asking sometimes cause he has cooler ones than I do (I refuse to become a "sneaker head") But, get this... he's only in gr 6! It's either I have small feet or my brother has really big feet for his age. Yenno what big feet means! .....big socks, duh.

18. I have the easiest funny bone and appetite to tickle. Meaning, I laugh at anything and everything including when other people laugh. I think the only person who can perfectly imitate my laugh is Ferd. I've also been told that my laugh is contagious! So in all honesty, the way to reach my heart is to make me laugh. That, or eating anything and everything with me. Take me out to eat and you've automatically earned secret Denise points.

19. When I'm down and out, my first instinctual emo-reliever is to clean. My room, my closet, my binders, my whole gaddamn house! So, I suggest that if you ever need a free house cleaning catch me at my worst times to produce a good thing in your environment. Hahaha.

20. Whenever I'm on my period, I swear my stomach turns into the size of an obese man's stomach. I'm pretty damn sure I can out-eat any male on this planet while I'm undergoing my womanly business.

21. When I'm shopping, I grab all the things I think I want. Then to only realize later on after a train-full of thoughts that I could do without it. Or how I can improvise from my already owned possessions (like clothing from my ma's closet) to make something similar to it. That is when I put it back and probably walk out of that store without anything in hand. Sigh, I'm so weird, but I guess it's good on the pocket.

22. I've grown to fall in love with Hip-Hop for the past 2 years. My main influencers are Justin Gonzalez (aka my "ex"-turned-best-friend) and Justine Santillan (aka best homeguh from anotha motha). As long as these two are in my life, I'm going to keep falling and falling cause I know they're there to catch me in this type of frame of mind. And never have I been so thankful for getting introduced to this lifestyle. Furthermore, COMMON YOU THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

23. I'm getting tired of the opposite sex who are inconsistent. Especially those who think they can use any word, drop any line, hope it makes sense and continue to think they possess some sort of deft articulacy. Consistency, in my opinion, is fundamental. And I'm not talking about persistence either. Persistence can be misconstrued as annoyance, actually. So if you rely on materialistic shit, physical motivation, or any other kind of bullshit that I find pathetic, you don't have game, and therefore, you don't have my time. I'd hate to tell you, but I'm not that incredibly naive. I'm a fast learner. So if you're looking for something less complex, you won't find it here.

24. And as you can tell from the above fact, I'm all about the manipulation of lexicon. It's the opposite of popular preference whenever a teacher or even a mentor are able to be so eloquent in their insights, I don't get bored. Instead, I remain alert cause they have gained my full captivity. Moral of the story? Knowledge is boss.

25. I will probably be the most independent female you'll ever encounter in your early years of life. That may be contrary to popular belief but I can assure you it's true: buying my own clothes/shoes/bare necessities ever since venturing out into the employment world; utilizing my money that's saved up to buy me a 2 grand Macbook and sustaining my spending habits when I went on my month-long Phils vacay; utilizing my savings to a greater extent by paying for my University tuition; having my own life concerning desires and daily plans aside from a significant other whenever that experience arises; pursuing peace of mind on my own whenever I'm in need of it by constantly re-evaluating my life once I come to the realization that it may be more volatile than I presumed.

And so, concludes facts about me!
This was fun, but holymothereffinggoodness it took waaay too long to think of.
In the case where you'd like to know more....
Don't get me wrong. Just get (at) me. And I'll keep it mutual.

"Muhfcka I'm ILLLLLLLL"

2009-02-02T23:07:00.000-08:00

... on the literal sense cause otherwise, I would never, ever, ever give myself that "g'ed" up status.

Anyway, throughout my (almost) 19 years of existing getting tonsillitis has become a common trend, annually. Or if I' m really lucky, every few months!
Fun times.
Really.

You know...
- being fine the previous day and really not expecting to have your glands inflamed once you awake the next day
- not being being able to swallow anything, including your own spit
- having your body feeling weak. Every gaddamn surface on your skin and bones have become brittle and sensitive (kind of like when your boobs/nipples hurt prior to getting your period haha)
- having your body temperature burn up like a mthrfckr as well as your eyes
- having to solely rely on Tylenol Extra Strength to temporarily relieve that fever
- feeling extremely cold in the process of enduring all this kind of unbearable pain

But despite all of that, getting visited by two ladies that I have recently come really close with (thanks a bunch B & K, I got'chu) and receiving this E-card to redeem your whole day with a laugh as much as it really hurts to.

***Disclaimer: before clicking that link make sure you're informed that that E-card is from Justin Gonzalez, whom I refer to as Justing. Why? Because I connected the first initial of his last name to his first name which, furthermore lead me to calling him "TING TING" for short (and for mockery reasons hahaha). And what is a weird looking broom doing in the card? For non-Filipinos, I am proud to educate you that that broom is called "Walis Ting Ting". And so, the rest is self-explanitory. HAHAHA what a great guy eh? Always knowing how to turn my day around when I'm feeling all shitty. Thanks Ting Ting!

One last thing?
Penicilin V Potassium you better fcking make me better or I will kick the shit outta you.

Please and thank you.

RE: "10 Winter Essentials"

2009-02-02T00:45:00.000-08:00

via re-definedope.blogspot.com. Wow. I know it's inexcusable for me to be this late in posting this, but "better late than never" right? My bad, but here you are dope boys!

1...st and foremost, no one can leave the house with the basic survival cards! More specifically for me are: my driver's license (which will be the top priority in 9 days cause it's my legal BC ID, ye), my Kwantlen student card, my library card and of course... my tucked away dough in my bank cause I hardly ever carry cash.

2. My chez Roldan keys, that I recently just found after a month of thinking I lost it. Ironic thing was that I found them after my dad went to copy new ones after my request. Plus, an addition of my hot Bikram yoga membership card just in case I randomly feen for a session. Sorry that my keychain doesn't have the "hype things" attached to it. I like to keep things simple, especially when it concerns more weight for me to carry around my day. Haha.

3. The only technology I carry: my BB Javelin and my 1st generation ipod nano. Those two are a contradiction when next to each other eh. But one thing they have in common? They're both presents! The BB from Justing and the ipod from Megan way back for my 17th birthday. Mad appreciation cause without these two..... I'd consider myself a hermit.

4. My simply bare cosmetics when it comes to "beautifying" myself: Covergirl Outlast eyeliner in black onyx, CoBigelow Mentha Lip Tint (which I bought 980656 from the US cause they're only available there), and last but least.. Burt's Bees beeswax lip balm that I would choose over Chapstick or any other lip balm anyday. Although I don't really need these lip moisturizers cause my lips hardly ever get cracked or dry, but it just feels nice to be protected on the lips during the inconsistent weather Vancouver goes through!

5. My "jewelry that I can wear in the shower" aka, real gold. Both jewelry have a significant amount of sentimental value. The ring was my grandma's 6th birthday present for me when I first immigrated to Canada that still fits on one of my fingers to this day. The necklace from my Seaman uncle for my 8th birthday present and, need I say that it's my most prominent Jesus piece that I hardly ever take off. I could live with just these 2 accessories when heading out, for real.

6. One of my petite sling-shoulder purses that I have grown to be obsessed with as of late or my Nike school purse that will almost be 3 years old that impressively fits my Macbook and huge textbooks. By the way, this picture does not do justice to my extensive purse collection..... the ones pictured are my current fixation haha. Also, notice that I'm not the type of girl to highly maintain myself with brand name labels cause the only one up there that is branded is Nike. The other four are either from vintage stores, Value Village or a random store that gets overlooked all for a bargained price, wooh. Plus, those Coach/Gucci/Guess purses are too generic and pardon me, not very fashionable..... well, according to my preferences.

7. One scarf from my overwhelming collection of scarves that not only serve for the comfort and heat aspect but for fashion purposes. Damn, how many do I have?!?!? (I also have Donnel's black scarf in my possession after him lending it to me during a chilly sesh, but that one's in my closet neatly folded until the next time he reminds me to give it back)

8. One pair of shoes to complete my daily outfit from my "kooky shoescination" varying from different styles, but serving for the sole satisfaction of my comfort, duh. Like my purses, these are my current fixes and have plenty plenty more (ie, sandals/summer wear) tucked away in my closet.

9. A pack of gum. If ya'll know me well enough, you know my favourite is either a pack of Frost Bites or Ice Breakers Ice Cubes! Mmm.. But unfortunately I just recently finished a pack for the weekend which explains the lack of picture. Google it?

10. Last but not least... A PAIR OF NUNCHUCKS. If you're special, I'll use them on you ;)

Hahahaha just kidding. Those are my brother's (who's taking Tae Kwon Do and who would stick up for his Ate any given opportunity haha). I don't carry those around, I just had to think of a last one for the lack of a better necessity. If those were foldable into a minuscule shape, sure! Especially with the terrifying outdoors of the Lower Mainland lately. But that's after my brother teaches me how to not knock my own self with it.

And there 'ja go! Thanks for the idea of this entry, Earl and Ryan, even if it is almost 2 months late. Good night everyone!

Aaliyah Movie!

2009-02-01T11:02:00.000-08:00

After the Biggie tribute debut, the next one in line to hit the big screen is Miss Aaliyah.
Her role will be played by Keshia Chante. Just look at that close resemblance!

No news on when the release date is, but all I know is that the filming starts in August.
So, expect it at the end of this year. (Ugh, such a long wait for my excitement.)

“We are going to great extremities to make this movie perfect. We have [Keisha] Chante in extensive training studying, speaking with family members, watching personal footage and in choreography training with Aaliyah’s choreographer and dear friend Fatima Robinson. This movie will be seamless the same way it was for Selena fans who enjoyed Jennifer Lopez.” - Director Bill Condon

By the way, HAPPY FEBRUARY!
But known as my favourite month of the whole year. Hmm.. I wonder why....
Since it's the first of the month, I have yet another baby picture throwback,

I thought this one would be appropriate for today with my current state of sleepiness on my very slow Sunday workday. Notice the mean Toronto sweater I'm fashioning and also my ma's San Antonio letterman! I was what.. 2 years of age? Damn, I wish I still had that sweater as a keepsake. On the otherhand, that Spurs jacket is in my momma's closet to this day.

Six Days?!?!

2009-01-31T17:55:00.003-08:00

Holy crap, I think it's safe to say that I took an unofficial hiatus from posting without pre-warning huh? My apologies! I MISS BLOGGING ~~so expect one (or two, or three or yaddayadda) by tonight~~ so I'll be back with a "substanced" blog soon once I relieve my sleep deprivation and my hectic agenda.

In the meantime, I've been meaning to post this trailer up ever since I saw the sneek peak at the Notorious screening.
Someone (or a group of people) watch this movie with me once it makes its debut?

And damn... I always like me some half-naked TI to gawk and "eye fuck" but this just crosses the line!

TI not only performs in Vegas but he also christens a washcloth...................

MY VERDICT?!

....couldn't have expressed it better myself, Hova & B.

(Left) EYE LEGACY

2009-01-25T21:41:00.000-08:00

1. Spread Your Wings ft. Free
2. In the Life ft. Bobby Valentino
3. Legendary
4. Lets Just Do It ft. TLC & Missy Elliot
5. Block Party ft. Lil Mama
6. Listen
7. Bounce ft. Chamillionaire & Bone Crusher
8. Let It Out ft. Wanya Morris
9. Through the Pain ft. Ryan Toby & Claudette Ortiz
10. Forever
11. Neva Will Eye Eva
12. L.I.S.A.
13. Lets Just Do It (Remix) ft. TLC & Missy Elliot
14. Crank It ft. Reigndrop Lopes

It's been 7 years since the death of this lady, but this post humous debut from this respectable femcee makes it feel like she never left! Before her death in 2002, Lisa recorded some songs for an album. In 2008 Lisa's family decided to work with producers at Surefire Music Group to create a posthumous album in honor of her. Originally set to be released Oct 28, the release date was pushed back to Nov 11, then to Jan 27, 2009.

EYE MISS YOU, PRETTY MAMA. This is a bumpin' and a feel good album with nice collabs, no doubt.

Need I remind you? Even heavenly souls define FEMPOWERMENT.

"She was determined to be something in life. She was a true Hip-Hop star. She didn't care about no press. She was the star out of the group. She was the one that would curse on TV. She had the tattoos. You could expect the unexpected. When you see Lisa, you could expect something from her. That's the gift she carried."

Like I mentioned, the album's being released on the 27th but just holler at me for the download link!

"I got everything I want in my life except a..."

2009-01-25T13:37:00.001-08:00

...*insert what I lack here*
(but only make your own judgement after reading the next few lines)

- Wednesday after school Boat House discounted meal
- Wednesday window shopping (yay for saving, honestly)
- Wednesday/school night getting buzzed with my Richmond whiteys
- Wednesday/school night 40 of Bacardi Gold + pomegranate juice + sprite
- Wednesday/school night midnight McD's run for "snackwraps?snackwraps!"
- Thursday McD's with the other "D" for at least 3-4 hrs with free hot fudge sundaes from "MDLR" haha.
- Thursday reading "100 World Mysteries" at McD's (so cool eh? Btw, I want that book *ahem. Haha.)
- Thursday watching the boys eat at Simply Delicious cause I was stuffed from McD's
- Thursday venturing in Q.E. park close to midnight before having a sesh
- Thursday putting on my Facebook status, "Denise dislikes Arjel, Donnel, Jace, Jr & Mike for tripping her out some by scary stories :("
- Friday studying at the downtown VPL
- Friday finally downsizing my tongue ring! Yee.
- Friday walking our (B & I) asses from Urban Fare to Main & Terminal marking our "B & D day".....

- Friday gallivanting by foot to the beautiful & peaceful False Creek pier...

(this picture does not do the beauty of the night scenery enough justice.
But can you believe my Canon digicam produced such an awestriking photo?!
I know... I don't either.)
- Friday "Metro mall-ratting" in the food court munching on a bagful of Halloween gummies
- Friday playing Scattegories at who's house? Due's house!
- Friday air-out sessions with B, K & Jr.....

- Friday Jr & I owning in Scattegories while we were highasamuhfckaflyasamuhfcka (impressive eh?)
- Saturday going church with the two constant boys in my life (my pa & bro)
- Saturday fcking around at B's house before heading to Metro
- Saturday getting scared the bejesus out of us by "My Bloody Valentine" in 3D (with Ray Ban-like glasses)

- Sunday (aka now..) working a full 8 hour shift after playing all weekend long!

Thanks homegirls and homeboys but now..
I am physically, emotionally, psychologically and intellectually exhausted!

PS. I am in love with the Sun on this Sunday.

Have your cake & eat it too?

2009-01-24T14:43:00.000-08:00

"I want a girl that look good, cook good
Don’t listen to much rap but she still know when the hooks’ good
All she do is read so she know when the books good
I love her cause she from the suburbs but she looks hood
A lady, but in bed she an animal still
Stick shift or automatic she can handle the wheel
There when I call, there when I fall
I want a girl just like you and that’s all"

BUT..

Ay Ma,

2009-01-22T13:55:00.000-08:00

What's up? Lets slide - alright. Alright, we gon' get it on tonight. You smoke - I smoke, I drink - me too. Well good cause we gonna get high toniiiiight.

Yepp, that song pretty much sums up my January so far; spontaneous call-outs that lead to heavy chillage and cruising. Minus minor drama that went down, but that's history now. Speaking of history,

I know J's gonna hate me for this visual cause I think it was supposed to be a potential subject for his blog. But! He's gonna love me after our conversation through bbm when I claimed that the ending had something about "flying" haha. Now I gave you the full quote! Pft, you're welcome. Anyway back to my audience..... breathe those words, that phrase, that wisdom allllll in.

Reminder: HIStory is HERstory too.

A couple of updates in my life:
- There are a lot of things I could name that I miss but the most essential one is, you. I know you don't feel the same cause we're both in different (busy) worlds. And I know we got our different people we chill with on a daily and weekly basis... but just don't forget that you were once in this world and as much as you've been "mia" from it, you're still welcome to venture in it and claim your reserved spot. In the meantime, I know you're good and you know I'm good, therefore, making us good. ......minus that little tidbit of me missing you. No homo or no emo alright?! Haha.
- Guess who has unlimited incoming and texting now?! My Javelin and its usage just got enhanced (only for $50 a month)! So, for those who have yet to be Blackberry owners and bbm users, text and call me up with no hesitation. Hollerrrrr.
- Getting my drank on on a school night.... who knew that I would add that onto my lifestyle? I gotta applaud my whiteys from Kwantlen for this one! Encore tonight cause hooray for long weekends every single week :)
- The world has conspired to keep my saving habits at an healthy level cause yesterday at Richmond Centre after class, I coincidentally forgot my wallet in Devin's car! Naturally, I whined for not being able to explore my vice of shopping after I got paid the previous day but I couldn't be more happier to see an untouched amount of numbers after the "$" sign. Therefore,
- I'm making some calls for my future car. Cross your fingers that my (long-awaited), hopes and dreams of owning my first ride is tangible!
- I'm excited to make the library or some coffee shop my second home this weekend so I can ace my first test of this semester and my first Psych test ever. Anyone who would care to join me are welcome, of course. Get at me so we can get our nerd on.
- I have my last 18 days of being 18 to de-toxify myself in terms of substances and the food I've consumed from the holidays. Back to my daily hot yoga, sip sessions with my Jasmine green tea and my balanced nutrition lifestyle! It's good to be back.

I'll conclude this entry by leaving you with this comforting and neutral quote,
"Don't get selfishly attached to anything, for trying to hold on will brain you pain. When you have neither likes nor dislikes, you will be free" (from Dhammapada: 211)

Comedic Relief!

2009-01-19T22:41:00.000-08:00

...targetted at the historical event happening tomorrow for President Obama's Inauguration. I'm definitely going to sacrifice my sleeping in until noon pattern just to watch it from 8-11am tomorrow! (Maybe viewing it will implant some inspiration and/or motivation to go to school at 2pm later on?)

Side note: This will totally happen!!! Hahaha.
And oh! I'm totally bummed that videos of the performances for his Inauguration Celebration yesterday will have to suffice cause I didn't get to watch them live last night, grr.

In other news, I told J today that I aspire to hold (or even just help plan) a Charity gala or ball in my later years as a University student. I'm going to look into it and research about it so my goal materializes! Hmm.. I can see it now as it being the most [subconscious] fulfilling experience ever.
...I know, I know. That was totally random. But yenno what else is random?

" D says: (10:48:10 PM)
I don't understand why you keep laughing SOOO hard at me tonight!
justin says: (10:48:33 PM)
HAHHAHA
justin says: (10:48:38 PM)
CAUSE YOURE SERIOUSLY SO FUNNY TONIGHT
justin says: (10:48:39 PM)
I love it
justin says: (10:48:46 PM)
The most simplest things you can say
justin says: (10:48:49 PM)
you make it the funniest "

Heh, I don't know... I think it's all the things I binged on consuming today?
Anyhow, I've had a good start of the week and even a bomb weekend with bomb company! Did ya'll?
HAPPY MONDAY!

And that's why they call him BIG POPPA

2009-01-17T01:34:00.000-08:00

First and foremost,
Happy fcking 19th Arjel Rivera!
Damn, reserving the first 3 rows in the theatre?
Then belting out in the birthday song in front of the public?
THAT WAS ALL FOR YOU, HOMEBOY.
Part 2 to get our grub on for you tomorrow!

That movie was dope! But in all honesty, if it wasn't for the movie itself coming out, the people honoured/involved, and the bumpin' music........ that was also a horrible movie. (Don't hate me! Haha. I'm not trying to be a pessimistic 'movie critic' cause I'm actually on the fence with this one.) So, why could it be considered a 'horrible' movie? Because I personally believe that it was a mediocre portrayal of Christopher Wallace aka Biggie Smalls. I feel this way because with him as a martyr to Hip-Hop, the movie was a stereotypical depiction of his hardships and whatnot in the 'game'. I believe it didn't do enough justice for the man! And most importantly, I hated the fact that the movie made me hella reminisce not only on Biggie, but Tupac as well! I'm missing them like mad right now hence, hella putting Pac and Biggie hits like my favourite one below on heavy rotation!

(I know that was a cliche type of song by the B.I.G. man himself, but hey.. nothing beats a mfkn classic right?)

However, in light of things I still highly advise ya'll to watch it for yourselves to develop your own opinions.
Plus, this movie is not meant to miss out on! Because..
"That's good lookin', plus you good lookin', plus the hood's lookin'.
Hold me down like B.I.G. held Brooklyn."

PS. "Imagine if Biggie and Pac were still alive at this day and time?" - Damn, that's a story for another day. To all you Hip-Hop heads that have influenced me to gain the same respect for this culture.... HIP HOP AIN'T DEAD.

Dear Constants

2009-01-16T13:45:00.000-08:00

Aka... homegirls, homeboys, friends, true fews & even a future significant other.

This one's for you,

"Decision" by Busta Rhymes ft. Mary J. Blige, Common, Jamie Foxx & John Legend. GET IT HERE.

"I've made a decision,
despite all the things that we go through
I'm gonna take my time with you
and be ya friend in need.
I've made a decision,
that everything's gon' be alright,
we gonna stay strong and keep it tight."

Denise Type Love!

2009-01-15T14:14:00.000-08:00

I want a love!
(With 'want' being the key phrase instead of 'need' mkay?)
But wait........... like what/where/when/how love type love?

I want a love to relate-some-shit before and during our relationship type love. I want a love like you hassling me to do my homework while you do yours too type love. It's actually tight after exhausting brains when we tell each other what we just both gained in knowledge from school or our days type love. I want a love like you opening doors for me, you talking on the phone to keep me company cause you know without me confessing that I'm actually a tad bit paranoid and scared while I walk or bus home alone. I want a love where it's not just about the material things cause he knows I can buy my needs and wants but those type of moments where it's just him that I need and want type love. I want a love that'll crack mushy gushy lines just to make me laugh cause we both think it's stupid to say those things on a regular basis type love. A love whose mastered the art of tickling the funny bone in my head then we'll laugh at each other's retarded laugh type love. I want a love like it's hella Bonnie & Clyde version 2009; ride togetha, stay together type love. Yenno, you teaching me how to surrender my love type love? Even an attempt to re-make the Love & Basketball or Brown Sugar romance live in reality like on screen cause he knows those are my fave movies of all time type love! A love that isn't too protective but wants me all to himself and vice-versa cause he wants me to stick up for him when other chicks try to holler type love.

X X

I want a love like us driving past a church while we both do the sign of the cross and after grabs my hand and smiles at me type love. A love to share the wheel once in a while cause he knows how liberated I feel driving especially with his ass groovin' in his pre-made ass-grove in the passenger's seat type love. I want a love where we can rap the Fresh Prince of Bel-air introduction or belt out old school Nsync in the car and not be ashamed when people from other cars stare type love. I want a love like not only us going out to eat for gourmet or fast food, but we also cook together even though you hella over-cooked the rice type love! I want a love like him reminding me to pray before I eat that over-cooked rice type love. Then after dinner or a night out in the town just yesterday, I want a love that'll just want us to stay in and chill with a little bit of video game rivalry cause that's the only game we'll both be playing when it concerns one another type love. A love with no need to wine and dine for me cause if I know the real him, he doesn't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve type love. Or even a love I can "stand still" with, just stare at and be silent around minus us napping the hell out of our day cause he asked me to sing him to sleep type love. I want a love where we can go to parties and get drunk, crunk and fuuucked up but not enough that one can't take care of one another and hold their sht when one's head becomes the toilet type love. I want a love like him not pinky promising his world to me but him showing promises aren't meant to be made but only shown type love. He would even try to pinky promise me but shows it with a stamp just so I can feel more secure type love. But when shit hits the fan I want a love that'll argue with me, not let me win easily but to challenge me to question our attitudes and behaviours in a manner where it's respectful type love. A love that's all about only making up cause we've reached a mutual understanding and not just making up cause the other one gives up type love. A love that'll be worth my energy to fight for, fight about and fight against type love!

I want a freakin' love about compassion and not only about cum-passion type love!

I want a love like him saying how sexy I am when I'm all natural type love. Then say how much he likes me in sweats or in basketball gear than a mini skirt type love. I want a love like him not knowing what to say because he's so speechless when I walk down the stairs with my hair nappy and a big t-shirt on type love. But I also want to be able to knock him off his feet when I fix up, look sharp occasion-permitting or just a surprise for him type love. I want a love like him thinking of me while I'm thinking of him wondering if he's thinking of me then call up one another to say something useless or random to share type love. I want a love like him offering to watch a suspenseful or an adventure kind of movie and me couldn't agreeing more type love. I want him to be the wallpaper on my Crackberry, doing something ugly and stupid to his face just so it reminds me how much I adore him for his quirky imperfections type love. I want a love where it's me and him against the rest of the world but still giving a damn about saving the world alone or together type love. But he has a life of his own and I don't need to be calling him up every hour of the day or every night cause I respect and trust him when it's homeboy day or family business time. A reassuring love that'll remind me I'm his favourite homegirl and would consider me a part of his family one day (with no rush) type love.

"I want a love that is unexplainable as he is."
........... but damn, I don't have one!
After reading this, I need'a get off my ass before I lose my chance to find that LOVE TYPE LOVE!
Haha.

Inspired by "Type Love by Shihan" on Def Jam Poetry, duh. Just bringing it back for ya :)

RE: "Javelin Twins!"

2009-01-14T15:06:00.000-08:00

(from the DOLLARSHORTBIDNESS blog.)

I'm. Still. In. Shock. If you've read his blog... yes, I requested for him to mail it to me/ It's more fun to receive mail if it's in a big ass box, is it not? Plus, considering that I'm convincing him and myself that it is an early birthday gift due to the whopping amount of bills he spent on this baby, might as well open it like a gift right? So, today I woke up at 11 having an overwhelming amount of ants in my pants for my mail to come. I spent an annoying amount of time questioning Justin for its arrival and even checking the canadapost.ca website with the tracking number of my package. (Hahaha go ahead, laugh at my idiotic anticipation antics....)
D: "January 14, 6:19am, location Vancouver BC, item being shipped to location"
J: "Well then there you go, you'll get it soon!"
D: "HOW DO YOU KNOWWWW!!!!!"
J: "Hahahahaha lol, holy shit."

Then the most ironic thing happened around 1230 when my mom came in the back door coming from work and her foot nudged a box in my kitchen saying, "what's this package from Justin?!" Meaning... IT WAS ON MY BACK PORCH THE WHOLE DAMN TIME. Ugh, even probably before I woke up! That's what I get for being so excited and sht hahaha.

"Holy fuck,
You got no idea how rushed I am in doing this. Oh fuck... I just realized I put "holy fuck" as the header. LOLOLOLOL. I'm to lazy to re-write! I mean holy fuck as, I'm tired!! HAHAH.. fuck another stupid mistake. Oh man, don't make fun of me k. Anyways, enjoy your new BB and pls take care of it. Don't let it become a "high class hobo"!!! HAHAH. So your birthday is almost up, this isn't your gift from me. I got another thing for you. OHH!! and the loonie. Hahah! Like I said, don't spend it. It's too shiny. Anyways, I got to mail this now.. It'll arrive at your house tomorrow. YOU FINALLY GOT MAIL!! Now, re-tell everyone your pin!!
Love, Justin."

Included was a matching loonie & a Starbucks card that he claims he'll never use. Such a goof!

Now.. I must part ways with my 2 month old GOLD-BLOODED BB Curve to fully appreciate my sexy Javelin.
I'm letting my ma use her for now until I am fully ready to sell it to someone worthy :)

Frick...... I'm still speechless. You have no idea of the extent I am indebted to you, Justin... in terms of gratefulness and selflessness modeled by you! I meant it when I said this gift would be enough to sustain our friendship when involving materialistic goods for "forever years." Don't be stubborn by giving me more cause you know how reluctant I am when others purchase me things out of their own pocket! (Please?) Ladies and gentleman, if ya'll already didn't catch the drift...... JUSTIN GONZALEZ IS A DAMN GOOD MAN. And for those who have taken him and his presence in your lives for granted and claimed it as a disadvantage? I don't know what the fck ya'll were thinking! I'm not only saying this just cause he got me this really outrageous gift but this gesture only fortified his best character trait of, Loyalty. You know that's nothing to ever fck with. A mere "thank you" doesn't justify what you've given/done for me today and for the past 2 years so, just watch out for what I have in store for you, best friend!

ASDHGSJDGSJD!!! Simply put................................................. you're the best.

PS. From matching Sony Ericsson W580i's to matching Blackberry Javelin's plus shiny loonies? Damn, "WHAT'CHU KNOW BOUT THAT." Hahaha kidding. You're the only gangster one Justing.

Hip-Hop Tip

2009-01-13T23:27:00.001-08:00

"RE: JUSTINE/KILLALIPSTICK; NOTORIOUS"
DOWNLOAD HERE.
A sweet song in terms of beat, rhymes and melody tributed to the one of the dopest souls in Paradise - Letter To B.I.G. by Jadakiss ft. Faith Evans. In light of that, reserve a spot for me for the late screening this Friday the 16th not only for Biggie, but for Jel's 19th as well!

CHECK OUT "IDLE WARSHIP" (Thanks J) comprised of a duo of Brooklyn emcee Talib Kweli and Philadelphia singer Res. They’re both spitting on here (yepp, Res is rapping), detailing their career stories and ups and downs in the music industry. Over the music from Alicia Keys’ “Diary” - make sure you take that in.

NOW, AREN'T THEY FLY? (Not only lyrically and musically)

If you don't know who this hottie Res is Wikipedia her! She has female empowerment written all over her stature. Or perhaps it's in her 'fro? Either way, dayum. Check her out singing in "Ice King" while Nas provides the Hip-Hop Tip.

(2nd entry of tonight by the way)

D on the 1's and 2's (and 3's)

2009-01-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

For the past few days, my mind has been going on a "hmm.. that's potential blog entry content" frenzy! Sigh, so many interesting things to blog but oh-so little time... Bare with me?

1. VISIT THE DOLLARSHORTBIDNESS BLOG. Not only for equally dope content as those legit blog sites, but also for his newest blog entry titled, "Javelin Twins!" Once you do, it's self-explanitory as to why he's featured on my blog once again.
(Fyi? IcanbarelykeepstillonmybedwithmyMaconmylaprightatthismomentafterreadingthat!!!)
(Exhale.)

2. The whole day yesterday I finally had my dad's new Rav all to myself after 95678 ages. As J liked to call it, a "power struggle" within my home between my ma and pa put me in possession of the keys! Of course, I had to cater to family needs of grocery shopping 1st, picking up my brother from school 2nd, bringing ma to work and bringing my bro to his Taekwondo practice 4th. After 6 I was free crusing in the car by myself, with my radio cranked up (I forgot to bring cd's), feeling all liberated as the adrenaline within me transfered through the wheel and onto the whole car. Eeeeeee! I then picked up B & K from school, Jr from his house and Kevin joined so we could eat up and meet up! Moral of the story? I NEED TO SERIOUSLY SAVE UP TO COP MYSELF A (not new, but only functioning) CAR! With yesterday's fulfilling experience, it's only motivated me to a higher extent to own my own, no doubt.

3. I am the one you denied / Pushed me off every time I tried / But I'm alright / I'm able to swallow my pride / And put all the bullshit to the side / If you ready to ride / ~~I'm down for a one night stand~~ x y'gotta git that dirt off ya shoulda!

Addicted To How We Kick It

2009-01-12T16:05:00.001-08:00

After a phone call during dinner last night that literally rocked me out of balance, Donnel couldn't have called me out to chill at the most perfect time.

*Before I get into the car.... "Are you wearing black or grey? Okay, you can come in."

Presenting you........... "BLACK MEMO" night.

Black & Grey Crew gettin ready to pain the town

Kisha Poppo all you can eat order for 3 guys and 2 girls (nice writing Jel)

Hot Sake and Gino's "lachiem" (sp?) toast

Sex and the City with a testosterone twist!

We look, nice.

On the way to Stanley Park for some "realtalk" with the "D" sign.

Watch out GQ x National Geographic! Up & coming Staryu/Starmie models.

Third Beach fuckery from 930-1130. Our footprints.... *tear.

(Oh shiiii, bringing back the marquee?! Haha!)

Anyhow, what isn't pictured are Erika and I's moments of getting the scared bejesus out of us! Damn them boys, that hollow haunted tree and pitch dark Stanley Park roadways!

This picture encapsulates our whole night perfectly,

"Dope" romance with pinkys! No homo though.

PS. This one's for you, Donnel. Has this entry inspired you to terminate this hiatus of yours?
..... yes, I didn't think so. Haha. But with peer pressure at its finest, un-hiatus your blog already?

Aqueerius?

2009-01-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

This is weird, but interesting!
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr teh ltteres in a wrod are, teh olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit adn lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset cna be a taotl mses and yuo cna sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If yuo cna raed tihs, yuo too hvae a gerat mnid!

Perhaps, I'll start writing my entries like that. Heh heh heh.

Anyway,
IT'S A MONTH UNTIL MY 19TH BIRTHDAY!
Time to prepare myself to recite, "Birthdays were the worst days"
cause of the anticipated gongshow weekend I'm going to endure.

So, let's spin that beat back! I've missed this song.

And.. spin these pictures back!

Both captioned, "The Old School 90's Mean Mugg" Haha!

Inverse - So True EP 2009

2009-01-09T23:56:00.000-08:00

1. Rise and Shine
2. So True
3. Sunnycalifornia Part 2
4. Spark My Soul
5. Beautiful City
6. Good Night Good Night
DOWNLOAD IT

(I bet they saw my birthday video cameo-ing their Hip-Hop Soul song. .......not haha.)

PS. 3rd entry? Oh shiii. That's a first. I think I caught the blogging ADD tonight.

The Diamond That Grew From Concrete

2009-01-09T15:33:00.000-08:00

(Image taken from DoorKnockers, thanks ladies.)
"Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit."

"Baby, I can see you've been fucked with too but that don't mean your loving days are through...."
My very wise homeboy of mine, Collin and I share the same positivity in "Love" (as cheesy as that sounds) despite our disappointing pasts in that department. I've been enlightened to realize that 'player game' can be likened to good ol' PACMAN. You chase, then you run away, you gain sustenance but only use it for your selfish endeavors. All the best luck in that game before it bites you hard. Hence, my intolerance for applying that tactic to my love life. And homie didn't you realize? That game is plaaaayed out. There are many aspects to dwell upon my emotions, but I'd rather not for the sake of your more dire emotional burdens. To keep ya'll in tact, I ain't another priceless work of art in that Gallery (thanks Mario Vasquez) and for those who plan to and perhaps already have tried, you can't dull my shine.

PS. Two entries in one day? Whaaaat. I never knew I could be capable of that.

May Your Pain Be Champagne.

2009-01-09T11:47:00.000-08:00

Finally I've found the time to update ya'll about my existence! I must warn you for an extensive entry, though.

- First week of second semester? Psych with a sweet prof, or so it seems. Asian Philosophy, I predict, will provide me with the most wisdomic scholarly quotes. Criminology is apparently an easy A, pre-judging from the word around campus about the brilliantly eclectic prof. English partially online served me well in first semester so I plan to utilize this advantageous approach to learning on a consistent basis. Time to really buckle down for this last semester so I can feel somewhat proud to welcome summer with successes. So what am I doing here at this hour? I got Fridays off, baaaby!

- The duration of working so many hours during the winter break paid off with my overwhelmingly whopping paycheck. For those who didn't know, I get paid $16/hr as a receptionist tending to hotel guests who check in or out, answering phones for inquiries, reservations and (sometimes) stupid questions and half my time is spent cruising in the cyberworld. So, when I'm on msn and my name is related to working, message me and I'm actually there! Haha. I've been steady at this field of work for almost 4 years now. Sweet, I never would have guessed a Best Western would do me this good!

- From 8 bbm contacts when I first got my phone to now, 26?! I know it's safe to say that the Blackberry world among my friends is growing like an epidemic! For those who have an iphone or any other mediocre phone, sorry to have to break it to ya but ya'll are missing out. A warm welcome goes out to my best Homegirl for finally receiving her Bold courtesy of the those who chipped in for the present and to Homeboy J for falling into my trap of purchasing himself the Javelin (which I will eventually possess as well, all thanks to him, yay!).

- Cruisin' has redeemed this hectic and dramatic start of the new year. The first day of school consisted of dinner at Whitespot just ordering appies and desserts which our waitress resented us for (bitch) then cruising all the way from Richmond to Downtown then back to Richmond again. In between were much-needed pep talks, the canonball going off at 9pm at Stanley Park, singing/butchering old school jams with the windows down, a visit to an 18+ store hahaha ( "You just get suffocated by porn!" ...I don't know if that was a good or bad thing but all I can tell ya is that it was my first time okay?), and Blenz coffee to end off our night. Then just last night, Serjoe came by to drop off his sister's Psych book, then Ferd (with Rowell) just had to make me experience front seat cruisin in his ballin' Cadi before we went to the park near my house. For those who didn't know again, yes I've had my fair share of Mary Jane. But honestly, the last time I used her was back in September 08. How I've missed her and those boys, seriously. But spontaneous catch-ups are at its best.

- My 12 hr sleep last night was heavenly. Thanks for forcing me to sleep at such a foreign time for me, J. And to just throw this out there, thanks for the past 2 years. From a forbidden friendship, to an unofficial relationship, to a resentful (and at one point in time, non-existent) friendship then back to a stronger than ever homie-ship.... you just about did it all for me. You've proven the concept of Loyalty, Hip-Hop and being a Willing Don in this inconsistent, tipsy-turvy life of ours. Despite those 'fuck you, I hate'chu, I don't wanna talk to you, you suck, you're gay/retarded/weird'-times, the most important message from me to you are... endless thank you's and I still got'chu's.

- I need to downsize my tongue ring cause this long bar is annoying the frick outta me! Aside from that though, I definitely do not regret getting this pierced. It's so fun! No joke or sexually charged joke intended!

- I miss my daily yoga! Enough said. Stupid holiday food and weight haha.

Basically...... I just need to learn how to keep cruisin (all puns intended), fix small shit, and balance equilibrium. Master that, and shit will be brutal in 2009... in a good way. Haha.

From now on, I'm putting up the peace sign (and in any scenarios necessary) my index down. Cause I got work to do and I don't know if that works for you. But my work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.

It's-flattering-but-please-don't-murder-my-Meaning-because-my-Word-is-my-Soul,
Denise Isabelle.

♫ Homegirl Vibe ♫

2009-01-06T18:32:00.000-08:00

****Disclaimers:
1. Apologies for my speech impediments (goes to show that I wasn't lying when I said it was my first ever video blog cause I stumbled on my words in front of this Macdaddy one too many times!)
2. I don't sing for or to just anyone, trust me haha. Apologies again for the lack of vocal impressiveness and/or training :( But this is just about the thought that counts for my 19 and legalized mama.
3. Did you notice how caught off guard and needless to say, freaked out I was when the birthday girl herself called? Damn. Freakyyyyydeaky.

What's G?

2009-01-03T14:09:00.000-08:00

The perfect song to kick off the new year. Listen to the lyrics. Thanks Murs!

HAPPY '09 EVERYONE. TIME TO "G UP OR SI'DOWN"
(Apologies for the late greeting.)

TOAST TO THAT.

2008-12-31T20:08:00.001-08:00

I think I have outgrown writing NYE tributes to the departing year. That, or.. I'm just lazy. Take a trip down my entry history for this year if you want a summary of my highs and lows (both that I am endearingly grateful and blessed for).

It's safe to say, it was just one of those.... "YOU JUST HAD TO BE THERE"-kind of years.

But 2008? HATE OR GREAT? Hmm.. I've found my happy medium.

With that said,
2009, YOU GON' BE MINE.
Hello legality (yeeebaby!),
Hello episodes of experiences,
Hello another unpredictable year,
Hello same grounded but grown me.

I'm taking all I got (yes, ya'll too) and then some
from this year and all other previous years as I...

"Raise your glasses, your glasses to the sky."
I SAID, "TOAST MOTHAFCKA, TOAST"

Let's.
Drop.
That.
Ball.
Already.

The Perfect Verse Over a Tight Beat

2008-12-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

"When did you first fall in love with Hip-Hop?"
What does picture mean? It means (a lot of things)...
1. It's MINE now. Original copy, high definition and everything.
2. Jr's Christmas present to me which I literally jumped on him for when I opened it!
I'm extra impressed for his effort and persistence in finding it to put a smile on this face.
3. My tiresome search all over stores to cop a copy has finally ended.
4. My favourite movie of all-time up to par with Love & Basketball.
5. THE BEST ROMANCE MOVIE EVER. Not even joking.

PS. If you haven't already watched this even once, I have the most sympathy for you.
...for missing out! However, if that's the case, you can ask me to borrow it :)

Tis the season for violent shoppers falalalalala..

2008-12-26T20:46:00.000-08:00

and I am proud to say that I didn't fit into that category today. I usually stray away from partaking in the 26th of December hype. The sales are misleading anyway! I'll only believe in Boxing Day when there's a Pacquio fight involved. So to contradict what I just said.. I'm going shopping tomorrow before I meet up with my homeboys before we head ourselves to the Christmas party haha.

Anyway, after thinking that I have trained a bionic and impenetratable immune system since January of this year, I have unfortunately caught the common cold. I mean, colds are tolerable but once it gets in my way of playing in fresh to def snow then oh noooo you di-i-i-in't... which means all hell breaks loose in my immune system to fight this sht off. So what have I been doing since I woke up? Eat pasta that I cooked, watch the Weekenders & Family Guy, bug the sht out of my brother, watch my whole box of ferrero rocher deteriorate in my mouth, having frequent sip sessions with my tea, playing some re-runs of Saved By The Bell and all the while transforming into a fat lard infront of my Mac doing god knows what with the internet.

(These vices kept me company from 1:30 pm until now)

What about now? .....I have looked onto blogging to occupy my time. Damnit cold, gtfoutta here! I'm hoping my tomorrow night's partying will relieve this (yeah right) or at least redeem tonight. Just like how this video of my husband has made my day:

Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen? If I buy guitar hero, I say he should be the bonus prize just to keep the promise of this video in tact. "Denise, you're just a Kobe d*ck-rider" - Yeah, no kidding! Hahaha.

In the meantime, I think I'm the only person who isn't angry and cursing the snow away. Elana was right, I think Winter babies have common tolerances with the white fluffy cold stuff. LET IT SNOW, LET IT MFKNG SNOW :)

For your lyrical dosage...
- I'm so tired of playing Love Rollercoaster with you cause my heart can't take this drama you been putting me through. It goes up and down, round and round, over and over again...
- This is the for the girls who get tipsy, but never get too drunk. This is the for girls who get sexy, but never show too much. Aka, THE SEXIEST COLLABO EVA. Confession: I was their muse for THIS SONG. Hahaha. (I wish) Talk about mad heavy rotation cause it's just so damn catchy!

Okay, my entry content has totally deviated away from the main subject. Perhaps I'll be back once I find something else worthy to entertain ya'll.

Happy Birthday Jesus ♥

2008-12-25T18:06:00.001-08:00

Twas the night before Christmas and I was the emcee. Who knew that job requires so much energy, a lot of assertive attitude and an immense amount of voice! Anyway, my Christmas Eve was spent with dear loved ones consisted of :

A white Christmas that hasn't happened in 10 years. Me loves it!

Annual family pictures in front of Christmas trees

Two tummy fulls of grub mmm..

Emcee-ing with my two younger co-emcees

Senior, Single, Mom, Dad, Boy, Girl categorical
Fashion Show to award the Stars of the Night

Secret Santa and gifts gifts gifts galore!

Playing Super Smash Bros, DS and Wii Boxing/Tennis with the kiddies

And last, but most definitely not the very least..

Taking in and being grateful for spending time with the company that
was present to celebrate all the Christmas tidings ♥

I hope everyone's Christmas was as enjoyable and memorable as mine!
If not, Christmas isn't the only time to be able to breathe in all life's blessings remember?

LOXOXOVE,

DENISE ISABELLE ROLDAN

PS. I won $160 in cashmonaay from the 50/50 draw. Baby Mikah picked out my ticket, she's my lucky charm.
PPS. More dolladolla bills ya'll for a double and a half pay at work (on my mac f) for 8 hrs.
PPS. My Christmas only got better.... 92-83 LAKERS WIN, BAAABY. Merry fckin Christmas Boston, hehe. (Yes, I was following it from work)

Memories Made In the Coldest Winter

2008-12-23T15:08:00.001-08:00

I promised ya'll a photoblog to exhibit my rockin' weekend so brace yourselves.
(Click on the pictures for a bigger and better image, please and thanks!)

Thursday equaled an unlucky morning (and no pictures): waking up at 6:20; running on 3 hrs of sleep; missing in action 2nd bus to school; being on hold with the cab company; the stowwwwpid taxi driver who didn't know where Kwantlen or Lansdowne was; having no cash, therefore having to find an atm at the mall; being 20 mins late for my Philosophy exam.... but! That was the easiest final I've ever written in my academic career consisting of 4 questions that I managed to answer in 40 minutes. Also, Pho with B & Kevin was deelish (and appropriate cause of my tongue) while we caught up with our lives. Then I finally got to meet Kaye's doggy, Amy! What a fat, cute, shy dog aww. B & K fell asleep while I watched me some tv until I had to leave for my nail appointment.

Friday initially consisted of the talent show at my high school where I was an "alumni" (whoa weird). Great job to all the acts, I was quite impressed!

Denise + Christina + Rhea = <3

After running errands in the frost-biting weather, I had to get ready for another session out in the town. This time it was a "Guu'd" time at the most delicious Jap restaurant in Gastown called Guu. I know everyone's already making their assumptions about this dinner so I'll just come out with it straight up: it was a chance to catch up with "ex best friends" before Christmas. So what? That was the kind of opportunity that clearly indicates grown people after high school even after the presence of drama and bullshit. In my opinion, it was a good plan, a good decision and a good way to let bygones be bygones. Also! It was also a good pathway for future eat-ups and meet-ups. $82 later: 4 hungry girls consuming 8 dishes of food hahaha. Impressive huh? And who knew afterwards we still had the appetite for coffee at Starbucks?

Our lives. Literally.

Reunited & in order from smallest to tallest.

After those yummy in the tummy sessions, I met up with Jr at his house (because it was a skytrain station near Due's). We then headed to DueDue's 18th birthday at his hizzouse! It was the first time in ages that I remained sober at a party that offered drinks, however I'm glad I did. It's even more funny watching the rowdyness with sober eyes! Because of that, my night entailed heavy chillage with mixed company. Then 2am rolled around.. thanks for the ride home Kevin!

"Soliiiiid"

Saturday entailed a 9-1 shift (with a 3hr sleep) and a cancelled appearance of myself at the "Fight Before Christmas" bboy jam. My fatigue from the morning shift dominated, therefore, I just chilled at home before making my way to church then a family meeting about our Christmas programme. Around 8pm I had to bus my ass to the Downtown Moxies for Due's [intimate] surprise birthday dinner. The duration of the wait for Due was filled with playing games on phones and an itouch until we all hid behind our menus when Ty gave us the signal that they were footsteps away. We classified Due's reaction as more severe than Kaye's reaction when she got surprised, aww. Anyway, pasta + a shared white chocolate brownie? Maaan, fck the calories! Haha. Strolling around Robson after we ate made up for it anyway. And what was the best part aside from that? Strolling in the snow! The snow was so fresh that I had great difficulty making my first snowball, but I didn't let that interfere with my way of getting Ty to "love" snow some more. What does that mean? FACE WASH. Haha, you're welcome buddy (although you gave me 2 more for myself on top of that). While we were on the skytrain all heading home, we decided to make a detour to Science World to play with the snow (upon Jr's kiddy request). It was so cute when the boys were throwing snowballs at each other, Jel making his snow castle out of a cup, Jr making his 'big art attack' while Kaye, Harriet and I watched from afar. Hey, we would've joined if we were appropriately dressed to do so. Before everyone parted ways, Due and Jr decided to stay with us girls before getting into our taxi. In the meantime though, this crazy lady high on coke approached us and asked Jr to help her out with her backpack. Kaye, Harriet and I were so frightened at this point that we made our way away from the scene while Due and Jr non-chalantly conversed with the lady. Geez, boys and their brave demeanors even in the face of potential danger. Finally, an hour later of calling the cab company and desperately looking for an available cab, Jr and I walked to the other side of the street in time for a person to get out of the cab and kindly offer it to us. The ride home was smooth and need I say, warm!

WINTER WONDERLAND

<3

Then my Sunday, Monday, and today consists of busy hours at work due to the cancelled flights and airport shutdown thanks to the snowfall in Vancouver that hasn't happened this severe in the last 10 years around Christmas time.

Now.... I got me a Christmas Eve party to emcee tomorrow, a 8 hour shift paying double and a half on Christmas day, playing/sledding in the snow with the homies and an after-Christmas party on the 27th.

Ahhhhhh, this is truly the blessed good life.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

to all spanning around the whole Earth ♥♥

Kan-ye? Mos Def, Com'mon!

2008-12-20T10:04:00.000-08:00

I'm currently at work fighting my love/hate relationship with morning shifts; getting off early which leaves the whole day free for shannanigans vs. waking up so gaddamn early! Meh. But guess what instantly relieved my tiresome state at work in the past hour? The men in the above picture and the question, "WHERE ARE YOU YEEZY?!" with the evidence of these two freestyle sessions of Kanye versus Mos Def and Common. I know this is old old news, but I personally did not like "808's & Hearbreak" and of course, most of you beg to differ. That's cool, it all comes down to personal preference right? Take it innnnn. (I'd love/die/be in awe if I ever watched something like this.)

MOS DEF VS. KANYE

COMMON VS. KANYE

Aside from that, these past 2 weeks of winter break has been impressive! On all aspects including relaxation, friends chillage, family affairs, and paper chasing. And I know these past 2 weeks will not fail me with the prime proof of this busy but chillin weekend. I shall elaborate more about it with a photoblog when I'm able.

To wrap things up in respect to my initial shared videos,
"And that's good looking, plus you good lookin, plus the hood's lookin'. Hold me down like B.I.G. held Brooklyn."
= $$'s good, friends are better, life is at it's best. Yay for the Holidays!

The Most Pure Muscle of the Body

2008-12-15T21:47:00.000-08:00

After months and months of wanting this bad boy done, today was zee day. Thanks to Laura, JR and Ty for coming out and supporting my nerves! (Although in actuality, they freaked me out even more by so-called "educating" me with the risks, potential problematic outcomes and yadda yadda. Yep, great great friends!)

I'll let the video taken by the camera man Tyrell do the talking (cause I'm obviously incapable at the moment).

(The Uknowhowedu song you heard mid-way is my Blackberry's custom ringtone for Justing who happened to call at the perfect time prior to the piercing! Freaky deaky or he's just a stalker? I say both. Haha.)

Now, I must prepare for the next 2-4 days fasting on soups/liquids, ice cream, cold beverages, and brushing my teeth prior to every little teensy meal. Honestly though, ice cream has never tasted so good in my mouth, ever. I guess this could be fun?

Not.
Haha. The healing process is the only thing I am actually dreading about this whole ordeal.

PS. The needle through the tongue bit didn't really hurt as bad as I was anticipating, trust. But the screwing of the balls is a whole 'nother story! Overall, my nerves did not justify the pain, yay.

Ladies Joint

2008-12-12T13:25:00.000-08:00

For those who don't know, let Wikipedia educate ya'll: "Feminism is a belief in the right of women to have political, social, and economic equality with men." I've always been up on the feminist frame of mind, more so than most women that I know. Now, I'm not going to theorize or philosophize about the essence of this belief but I'll just briefly remind you of female censorship, women's suffrage, and etc. My temperament of this has been heightened to a new perspective through Women in Hip-Hop. I know I'm a 'noob' to this culture, but just..... damn! These women are the perfect embodiment of feminism through the Hip-Hop culture. WATCH.

Grand Puba Maxwell & Mary J on "Yo! MTV Raps"
Probably my most favourite Hip-Hop/RnB collabo out there thus far.
Didn't think a singer can hold a rap tip like she does huh? Now you know.

"RapCity" feature on The Fugees.
Self-explanitory; the only woman in an influential Hip-Hop group?
Mad Queen status. Although she kills me softly, she defacates on the microphone!

I'll end this post off on the Christmasy spirit brought to you by the legendary TLC.
Miss them as much as I miss the Fugees. To me, they're still crazysexycool. RIP Left-Eye ♥

One word in summary: RESPECT.

When I Reminisce over you my Dog.

2008-12-10T15:36:00.000-08:00

It's ironic because lately I've been on a browsing frenzy for online puppy ads then sharing pictures of cute dogs to friends and secretly wishing for those puppies to appear magically in my room. I don't know if my mind was subconsciously doing those things on purpose to avoid something else but... what I haven't been doing is looking at my dog's cute pictures. However, today after lunch my pa put me back into perspective.

He took me to Sugar's brothers and sisters' home to pay a visit.
(Out of random too. I guess I wasn't the only one in the family being phased about Sugar lately, weird.)

Seeing those Sugar look-a-likes opened the cracks of my broken heart again. But what I didn't expect was that it also provided me with the comfort my heart was secretly seeking months after the incident happened on August 31st. I had to swallow the lump in my throat while I was there but right when I came home and especially receiving the sweet message Harriet left me in my inbox about another site of for sale dogs....

THE TEARS JUST RAN LIKE WATER FROM A BROKEN FAUCET.
It's not even remotely funny how much I still miss her and how I'm not close to getting over it...

This video I found, "Dog Rescues Injured Dog From Freeway" (click) doesn't help my emotions either. Or even the fact that the only video we had of Sugar in my mom's cellphone was sent away to the Philippines.

In conclusion, I lied about not having a Christmas wish list year (my apologies for being a hypocrite). But I promise all that's on it is a very far-fetched wish for a puppy to be welcomed into my home again. It'd be preferable if the dog looked and had the exact personality as my late Sugar. Hey, a girl can dream right?

(Sigh. Please Santa....)

Mellow Monday

2008-12-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

I just watched these two today and I highly suggest watching them after J's initial recommendation!

Tyler Perry never ceases to please my movie fix. Some may classify his movies as 'cheesy' but to a girl such as I, it couldn't make me feel any more charmed. I certainly hope he continues developing movies like these because my guilty pleasure are 'black' movies (no racial injustices included). I have more to watch! Hehe.

"I enjoy quiet nights at home [I'll curl up next to ya]" so don't mind me on day off's...
- lounging on my recliner in my room captivated by my Mac because of streaming online movies (such as the above)
- curled up on my couch infront of my tv indulging in my favourite Monday night sitcoms: The Hills, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and CSI Miami (which are happening right now)
- wrapped up in my newly-found Paul Frank robe that not only cures my 24 hr coldness in this house but also makes me feel like a piiiiiimp (minus the pimp cup/hat/juice) haha.
- sipping on my Jasmine green tea mmmm!

Anyone interested in joining me are welcome! Haha.

Sun-day Dose

2008-12-07T08:28:00.001-08:00

"She was on her way to becoming a college graduate
Wouldn't even stop to talk to the average kid
Fuck the horse and carriage shit, her love was never for hire
Disciplined, intellectual beauty's what I desire
Everyone told me, kickin' it to her was hopeless

Her eyes are brown and beautiful, yet empty and sad
I used to talk to her occasionally, and she was glad
That I wasn't just another nigga trying to get in it
I never tried to sneak a touch, or even cop a feel
I was too interested, in keeping it real"

Sidenote: If you are a loyal fan or reader of the Post Secret site, they need your help! If you are interested in this site's continued success, please spare a little bit of your money in buying a book (from Urban Outfitters or Chapters). I was blessed to have received a book just this year for Valentines and I'm now eager to add on to that collection this holiday. The cost of the book is incomparable to the refreshing sanity those shared post cards provide you, remember that. Plus, it makes for a simple yet pleasant gift this Christmas. Thanks viewers!

Now, with those topics out of the way I must get back to desperately trying to keep my eyes open. Imagine coming home at midnight from an 8 hour shift just last night and having an opening shift starting at 8. But! No coffee for me, just my deelish Jasmine green tea. Ohhh the sweet, sweet money to justify the brutality of back-to-back shifts. GOOD MORNING.

Content Discretion

2008-12-05T14:03:00.000-08:00

APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE FOR THE HORRIFIC CONTENT BEFORE YOU.

Entitled, "Chinese Eat Baby Soup for Sex," according to the Seoul Times these vivid pictures of embryo fetuses being made into soup for human consumption were emailed. Apparently, this herbal soup is available "to increase overall health and stamina and the power of sexual performance in particular." A frequent customer, 62 years of age, even testified to the enhancement with his 19 year old second wife and sex life, all thanks to eating this soup! The local code for the soup can be ordered as, "spare rib soup." All of these fetuses are evidently from abortions effecting from China's introduction of the one child policy that defies female babies in comparison to the "importance" of male babies. Honestly, is this the sexist and cannibal age?!

Gagging yet?
.... No?

Alright, to all your carnivore selves out there feast your eyes on this:

Video brought to by meat.org
I didn't mean to serve you your potential vegetarian lifestyles (because I love eating my meat too), but I just had to make you aware of the torture these animals sometimes endure just satisfy our human diets.

I bid you all good luck when you consume your meals on this pleasant Friday! Haha.

Female Species 101

2008-12-04T13:36:00.000-08:00

(I though it was only appropriate juxtaposed to my previous entry. Many thanks for the feedback by the way!)

Single ladies - Hey, we're livin' the life too!
But when it comes down to it.. We are honestly too busy (and traditional) to think to ourselves that we need a boyfriend to solely fuck. But that doesn't free us from day dreaming and hoping for a significant other to spoil.

Ladies in the dating scene - Hella livin' the life (to my assumptions)
Guy here, guy there but always dissatisfied because we also need a ride or die G. At the end of the day, the commitment is vital.

Ladies in a relationship - This is the climax to livin' the life.
Got that commitment, got that stimulating sex life and we're settled. Looking for ways to improve and excite the relationship on a consistent basis even in the presence of nonsense bickering, miscommunications and fights.

Personally, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my dog (RIP) - everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted because of neglect that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.

"Is there any boys around that know how to make a girl feel?"

Male Species 101

2008-12-02T22:00:00.000-08:00

It's been discussed in universal terms that...

Single guys = Yeeaah livin' the life yadda yadda.
When it comes down to it... they'll be like,
"FUCK MAN, I NEED A GIRL TO FUCK,"
when they don't have a girlfriend to run to.

Guys dating = Yeaaah livin' the life. Fling here, Fling there.
When it comes down to it... they'll be like,
"FUCK MAN.. all these girls are whack! I need a ride or die g."

Guys in a relationship = Yeaaaah livin' the life.
Got that fuck, got that ride or die fly chick.
But then they'll be like, "FUCK MAN. I'M BORED."

TRUE OR FALSE?

"I lost my phone number, do you have one I could borrow?"
"Playin' doctor's for little kids, let's play gynecologist"
"I lost my teddy bear, so baby doll, can I sleep wit you?"
"If my name sounds familiar, you should fuck what you heard"
"The word of the day is legs, let's go back and spread the word"
"But if you are what you eat, I hope I'm you when I wake up"
"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I could see myself in your pants"
- Up Close & Personal by Pack FM

By all means gentlemen, enlighten me.
(Oh, ladies.. your input is equally impacting too!)

1st of the month

2008-12-01T14:12:00.000-08:00

So I said wake up, wake up, wake up / 'Cause its the first of the month / And you have to get up, get up, get up.

The month of December entails so many things! The no-brainer being the Holiday season and that in itself means a plethora of things. In more tangible terms, this is the last week of classes, which in turn equals 3 WEEKS OF WINTER BREAK. If the world decides to be good to me, those 3 weeks will be filled with good people with ~~good~~ better times. But first and foremost, catch me tending to people behind the front desk to keep the stack of paper at a comfortable level even after splurging on my loved ones' gifts. This entry would be complemented well with a wishlist...... if I only had one to speak of. I, personally don't like having wishlists because I'd rather buy the things I want on my own time, with my own money. Plus, this season loses its spirit if that's all I'm anticipating for, doesn't it? And especially coming from the roots of my 3rd world country this summer, it put me into retrospect of what sacrifices especially with your money can mean. So to kick off this month of lovely and grateful tidings....... off to Western Union I go to send more Christmas money to my family in the Philippines. If I can Christmas shop, then give them the opportunity to shop too right? What I'm trying to get at with this entry is: don't lose sight of the more important and dire matters concerning the rest of the world when you're so consumed in your own little worlds (especially this December). I know it's hard, but stay humble, stay close to your roots.

To further put you in perspective: "But the influx of holiday season donations hasn't come in, and the food bank is getting desperate." Read the October 31st article concerning the food bank here. I'm grateful I have the opportunity to help this issue on Thursday with my Crim class where we will be collecting non-perishable canned foods. Do your part. Sacrifice a little.

I say "ladeedadee" cause I like to party

2008-11-30T13:49:00.000-08:00

One word to summarize this week:
busystressfulrelievingcrazydirtyfancy-docious!
(Okay, I cheated. But it's technically still one word? Likened to the Mary Poppins supercaliblahyadda word, you know. )

After the hair-pulling deadlines this week, Friday and Saturday's happenings redeemed it:
Friday I met up with Ty and Jr at Granville cause Jr's impatience impeded in waiting for me at Terminal, pft. Ty and I proceeded to grocery shop at Metro Superstore; $40 = 5 1L bottles of pop + 5 huge bags of chips + gummies + picnic supplies. Upon arrival at Ty's we were just chillin around before everyone came with the help of musick, a Korean movie (fricken Ty & Andrew tricked me in trying to find Andrew in that movie that whole time! Geez haha) and fighting over the recliner which ended up giving me a bruise on my shin thanks to Jr! Hmph. Fast forward.... Joy, Erika, Mobin and I went for a liqs and McD's run 15 mins before the liquor store closed. Which evidently lead to the anticipated tequila, salt, lime shots with Rochelle and Erika. Add in random body shots and lap dances too. Haha. That's only due to Collin's persistence in requesting dances for the girls. Then a hillarious ride home before 3 thanks to the best designated driver, Collin ♥
Saturday Collin, Lindy and I headed to Plaza of Nations marina. A few minutes later, the birthday babygirl Kaye got surprised on her luxurious yacht. They got her gooood. You can't forget about the scrumptious grub and even more heavenly cheese cake (my all-time fave dessert)! As the night progressed, constant photo-ops and catching up one on one with the reunited majority. Perfect ending of the night just vibin and dancing on the floor (sometimes). Hope it was the sweetest 18th KayeKaye ♥

And today.. I just came home from a 9am shift and now I'm lounging on my recliner in my room. Which reminds me that I need to design my room one of these days (money permitting). Sigh, only if I was eligible to be on the "Trading Spaces" show. I watched that show religiously because I found it so exciting with all their diy tips for designing your space and the final reveal to the two involved parties! What ever happened to that show? (Now I'm tempted to to apply to be on their show haha)

My last rant is partially blamed on J's new song list featured on his Dollar Short Bidness. As much as I love these brand spankin new love songs..... feelings of loneliness is knocking me out in the stomach. Hahaha wait.. that's only because I want to be able to relate to them! Not cause I'm desperate for a boy. "If I wrote a book about where we stand, then the title of my book would be life with Superman that's how you make me feel," sigh. Thanks for making me feel lonely J! Have a listen to my top 4 tracks and formulate your own love/hate opinions :

Disclaimer: if these tracks happen to make your ears ooze out goodness, then don't hesitate to download and holler at J's blog to give him your feedback. Don't you think it's about time?

Moral of this extensive (and boring) entry?
PLAY HARD, BUT ONLY AFTER WORKING HARDER.

Exhaaaale

2008-11-27T14:32:00.000-08:00

English 1000-word rhetorical analysis of Obama's speech? Check.
Sociology 7 page, 7 topics & 7 article resources paper? Check.
Criminology critical media assignment worth 20%? Check.
Criminology group project? Ready for presentation in about 1.2 hrs.

Proclaim this loud and proud with me: PHEW.

After the late-nights, hermit-dom in my room/library, varying sources of stress levels, too bad I can't literally express my relief through some sort of interpretive dance. That will have to wait until I get home after class at 7, in my room dancing to before-her-prime Britney Spears. Haha I'm kidding! I'll just leave the dancing to my insides.

Okay umm... I don't know if you can call this a reward for those accomplishments mentioned above (I don't) but..
I just got "picked up" (as Mae likes to term it) in the caf =/
I was just minding my own loner business in the corner near an outlet (because Laura is doing last minute group stuff a few tables away) and this black guy makes a path to my direction. At first I thought he was making eye contact with someone else but when he made a gesture to put my purse down from the chair, that was when my reflexes finally decided to connect with my brain that he was approaching me. Haha. Anyways, he claimed that he was staring at me when I was upstairs in the study lounge but was "too shy" to talk to me there. He's apparently from New York for basketball but lived in Richmond for 18 years? Honestly, what was I supposed to do but be polite (to reciprocate his seemingly polite manners)? That definitely caught me off guard!

Anyway, that was the story of the day!
Click on and avert your attention on my 5 course, 4 day 2nd semester schedule as opposed to my 4 course, 2 day this semester. I decided to take 5 courses so I don't have to take any summer semesters in the next 4 years. I am convincing myself that this is a good idea so don't tell me otherwise! Cause least we forget... I head off to school to learn, to think independently, to draw my own conclusions, to develop curiosity and innovative thought-patterns and in the final analysis, to find myself in the world.